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How To Buy A Vibrator – A Primer for Selling to the First Timer

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how to buy a vibrator

Oh dear.
Source: jackace


We’ve all had a first time… first time love, first time sex (“You NEVER forget the first person you have sex with” I always tell my virgin listeners and I am sure, right now, you are all flashing upon who that person was for you), and, for many of us, you remember getting your first sex toy or vibrator.
If you’re a retailer of these fabulous gizmos, you know you can be the person who changes lives forever for your customer by making the purchase of a first time toy a comfortable, memorable experience. I know this first hand. When I opened Grand Opening! in 1993, I didn’t realize that creating a comfortable space and my love and enthusiasm of vibrators and sex toys would have such an impact on my customers. To this day, I have customers come up to me and say “I bought my first vibrator from you and I’ll never forget the experience. Now I have lots of them!” Kinda like lovers, I think!

Selling a Vibrator, Step By Step

So how do you make that memorable experience in your own store? First, create a comfortable space that’s inviting for EVERYONE, men, women (okay, maybe not children), for all sexual orientations, etc. (that’s a whole ‘nother posting for a whole ‘nother time).
Let’s say your customer is a woman who is visiting an adult store for the first time (yes, there are plenty of women out there like this) looking to get her first vibrator or sextoy and has no clue what she’s looking for. Your customer approach should be friendly and supportive while guiding her to make her OWN choice. That’s important! How to go about this? Preface your questions like this: “I’m going to ask you a few questions that you don’t have to tell me your answers but just think about them… What kind of stimulation do you prefer? Inside? Outside? Either? Both? Not sure?” You’ll see her thinking and sometime she’ll share her information with you. Continue with “If it’s outside, then a clitoral vibe will be good, like these bullet vibrators. If it’s internal, then these types of vibrators would work such as the popular G Spot vibes or the more “traditionally shaped vibrators.” They can also be used externally if you’re not sure which kind to get OR if you like both internal and external stimulation ‘cuz you’ll never know what’s on the menu on different nights! Also, if you just want the sensation of feeling full, dildos are great for that. Something to keep in mind is that a vibrator can be a dildo by just not turning it on, but a dildo usually can’t be a vibrator, although there are many out there where you can take out the vibrator such as the Tantus line of silicone toys.” Sometimes, she won’t know what size to reference and I always mention “Think of a lover you’ve had and what size made you happy…” (Notice no gender preference there? No “what size was he?” type of thing because you never know what someone’s preference is when they walk into the door).
Now this is probably THE most important thing to mention when someone is choosing ANY toy. I always say THE most important factor when buying a toy is to tell your customer GET WHAT APPEALS TO YOU VISUALLY. It’s kind of like food: if you don’t like what the food looks like, you probably won’t want to eat it. Your friends might say “The Rabbit is my favorite toy” but if you’re thinking that it might be too big or the gizmo looks like it’s going to do too many things, then DON’T GET IT. It will only sit in a drawer and collect cat hair on it. By finding a toy that agrees with your eyes, it means that your body is agreeing to it too, since it will ultimately be your body using it. Your customer will be grateful for this information and guidance.
So use these tips in your brick and mortar store or if a friend asks you how to buy a vibrator or dildo. It works!
Okay, and on another front… in case you missed it, here’s some good info about the ongoing “battle” between LA County health officials and those of us in the adult industry. Here’s the full XBIZ report: The dirt…
And here’s the JOTB: A woman goes to the produce department in a grocery store and picks up a cucumber. The clerk comes up to her while she picks one out and says “Oh, those are 75¢ each and two for $1.00.” “Hmmm…” she says as she grabs a second, “I guess I could eat the other one.”
This blog originally appeared on my blog on XBIZ.com

Bombs Away With Bullet Vibes!

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Geesh! You know, I’m crackin’ with blogging about all different kinds o’ sex toys, drill down (or, is that, drill IN) with individual sex toys (product testing is the best part of this job!), and give ya lots of general info, too. So here’s another installment for ya with bullet vibes as the focus!
You already have the 411 about silicone dildos so how’s about dem bullets? Yeah, bullet vibes and eggs… A quick peek at my Grand Opening! website leads me to, WHAT??!? SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE CHOICES!! Let’s see, that almost works out to one bullet for almost two years… what’s a girl to do?!

How to Pick the Right Bullet Vibes

Okay, let’s break this down to a couple of categories… how about small and wireless first. There’s one touch mini ones, big wireless ones, little wireless ones, remote control ones (okay, they usually have a small wire for the radio signals). These bullets are great to use clitorally (externally), or some of ’em can even get slipped into vagina land and they’ll make your pelvis vibrate better than one of those fake pussy masturbation jack packs for guys ‘cuz it’s the REAL THING! (Okay, so maybe the other difference is that you have to buy us dinner first). But you have to pop out the small wireless bullets if they’re inside, otherwise your upcoming sonogram is gonna look pretty weird. Learn how to squeeze ’em out which is the best way to do it.
Squeeze ’em out… oh yeah. Using that great sex muscle, aka PC muscle or, if you really wanna get technical, the pubococcygeus muscle, which connects the pubic bone to the coccyx bone (your tailbone) and is basically the pelvic “sling” that holds your guts up, otherwise aforementioned guts would pool around your ankles and make walking difficult, never mind breathing a little tricky. The PC muscle in gals can squeeze around anything inserted and squeeze out anything that needs it to. It comes in handy when you want to pop out wireless bullet vibes when the action has trickled out of your throbbing snatch.
BUT! No matter how good you think it might feel, you NEVER want to put a wireless bullet up your butt because it can easily slip into never-never land and just ask any emergency room tech about the latest x-ray they took. It’s only funny if it happens to someone else…
Okay, so let me pick a couple of my favorite bullet vibes for their quality and power: the simplest and easiest to use is the Screaming O, single speed one touch bullet that takes 3 LR44 watch batteries. Easy to travel with, easy to use. A little bigger (and not so much for insertion) and incredibly powerful, is the Ro-88 Chrome Bullet, a single speed beauty that is strong enough to satisfy those gals who insist that bullets aren’t strong enough.
But in all of my experience in selling bullets and vibrators to thousands of horny folks, Pipedream’s wireless remote vibe is the best for quality, value, and thrills. This wireless, slightly larger, remote controlled sucker works through METAL WALLS AND DOORS and up to about 100′ away. I’m not kidding. Put this one up your lovebox and let the fun begin. And it has 10 speeds so just hand over the control to someone else and go along for the ride. You won’t be disappointed and you’ll be hungry for more.
Speaking of horny… I have to get back to more product testing… poor me…
This blog originally appeared on my blog for XBIZ.com

So What's That Dildo Made Of? A Brief History of Silicone Toys

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Let’s look at the original kind of sex toys: dildos. History has it that jade and stone and probably wood and bone have been used as sextoys in the past (and probably still are. Maybe that’s where the term “boner” came from). Dildos were and probably still are the most easily accessible toys out there – pretty much anything with a cylindrical shape that can fill a woman’s vagina (or, for both sexes, a butthole) is a dildo. Hey, why do kids on the playground insult each other by calling their rivals “You dildo!”? If they only knew at their tender ages that dildos can make for some hot sex, they’d use a different insult… Some people call these “dongs” also but I think that’s an old school name for them so I’ll call ’em dildos… where did the name “dong” come from anyway?
Back to sex toys. Dildos had been made with all sorts of things then a rubber material called latex came along. Ah, latex. The material that was once part of every toy is now considered old school. It’s kind of expensive to use now and it’s sticky and stinky and messy to use so most companies are getting away from using it for their toys. And there’s that pesky latex allergy thing that so many health care practitioners are complaining of, probably due to over exposure to the stuff… glad I didn’t use too many BandAids as a kid. So not many companies are using it anymore for toys and that’s a good thing.

Silicone: The Dildo’s Best Friend

So what ARE they using? Briefly, there’s the top o’ the line silicone – a non-porous rubber that has no odor and costs a little more but is worth it. And here’s a little known factoid about the silicone dildo… wanna learn the history of how they became dildos to begin with? Sure
you do!
Once upon a time, there was this Jamaican man named Gosnell Duncan, who, due to an unfortunate accident, was unable to copulate with Mrs. Duncan (I’m keeping this story PG in case you want to read it to your kids at bedtime. Or your girlfriend). One night she said to her hubby, “Oh, Gosnell, honey, I wish you could make a dildo so you could fuck my brains out at night.” (Whoops, forgot about the kid’s bedtime story) “Oh, Gosnell, honey, I wish you could be the man that I married and make love to me like it was our wedding night again.”
So what did the enterprising Mr. Duncan do? After months of thinking about this with his other disabled men buddies, he thought of what kind of material was out there in the world that was durable, firm yet flexible, could retain body heat, was waterproof (I suppose Mrs. Duncan might have gotten a little wet in that department), could be made in many colors, and could easily be made without having to travel to Indonesia to get that raw, stinky, latex material. And guess what material that was? Silicone! As in SILICONE BATHTUB SEALANT! Yep, Mr. Duncan went straight to the source who originally formulated the stuff, a little known company called GE – known more for their light bulbs and bringing good things to light. The kind folks at GE started to work with Mr. Duncan with his odd but compassionate request for help and two years later, Mr. Duncan was fabricating real looking dildos out of skin toned silicone which all the men and their lucky wives enjoyed copiously.
So how did these puppies wind up in the hands and snatches of women around the world? Ah! Not an easy answer! Around 1975, Mr. Duncan was reading about a small, feminist sex toy shop in Manhattan (which is also credited with being the FIRST one in the country) called Eve’s Garden, founded and owned by Dell Williams. When he saw the ad, Mr. Duncan thought in his sing-songey Jamaican accent “Owh… I wonder if leeezbions would like dem?” and he got in touch with Ms. Williams and the rest, as they say, is HERSTORY.
And oh, about those other materials for sextoys? I’ll let you know about them in future blogs. I gotta go do some product testing. Now where’s my lube?
This blog originally appeared on my web blog on XBIZ.com

What's a Nice Girl Like You Doing in the Sex Toy Business?

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Oh the wonderful world of sex toys! I have been in this crazy business formally since 1993 but as a consumer since 1987, when I met the Smut Hound – someone that opened my world to all things sex.
Having been in a relatively boring, non-child-producing marriage for 7 1/2 years, I was ready for some action. I met the Smut Hound after dating a Swede for a year who was my first introduction to the “Hey! Sex toys are fun!” world by buying me my first vibrator.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it and then, as so many women do on a frisky night, I dropped the 2 C batteries in the aqua plastic cylinder (there certainly weren’t as many options for toys back in 1986), twisted the base on the hard shaft, spun the variable speed control, and the rest is history!!! No turning back after that!

How I Got in the Business of Sex Toys

So the Smut Hound and I got together after the Swede moved away and it took me no time to embrace ALL THINGS SEX. He opened the doors for porno, sex toys, public sex, crazy fucking, pornstars, Polaroids and everything else. I found my home.
Until I went to buy my sex toys at the porno store in the world famous Combat Zone of Boston. I’d go in and thoroughly entertain myself by checking out the variety of all the stuff on the walls – the packages, the names of the products (especially the porno videos!), what they looked like, what they did. I would often accompany a nervous girlfriend when she wanted to buy a vibrator and I would describe the products to her as they were hanging in the boxes on the walls. She would loudly whisper “Let’s just get one and LEAVE!” I’d bark back “Wait! You’re getting something for yourself!” and often she would just point to one and that was that. I proudly walked up to the raised counter where the cigar smoking clerk was perched and he’d always ask “Ya gonna use this together?” I’d always reply with a flat “Noooo” as I raised my middle finger in silent protest. Just let me pay for my goddamn toy.
I decided I had enough of that and had the light bulb moment hit me while attending a G Spot workshop in New York City with the goddess known as Deborah Sundahl, a G Spot teacher since the early 90’s and founder of the fantastic (and missed) hot REAL lesbian publication On Our Backs. She mentioned the only place that would host her for a G Spot chat was the gay men’s bookstore in Boston; not the two feminist bookstores – god forbid a woman talk about SEX in a feminist bookstore! I clearly said “We could use a women’s sex toy store in Boston! I could do that. I COULD DO THAT!” History starts again.
I opened Grand Opening! a year later in 1993 after leaving my high ranking administrative position at Harvard University (where many of those sex toy buying girlfriends worked). I loved owning Grand Opening! for over 12 years and decided my true passion was with teaching and learning and promoting all good things about sex – especially sex toys which is why I’m here.
So, join me on this endless journey all about sex toys… reviewing them, trying them out, sharing insights and hysterical information about this great sextoy industry, learning about things you can do with them and the related products like lubes, oils and plenty of other things. You’ll learn lots of tidbits, be entertained, learn a joke or two, and best of all, become the sex toy person you’ll ever want to be. C’mon, let’s go!
(This blog originally appeared on my blog in XBIZ.com)