Battery-powered Vibrator Care: Part 2

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Last time, we got started by discussing some of the best tips for taking care of your vibrator. I hope you’re ready for some more useful tips though, because boy, do I have them! Let’s not waste anymore time, shall we?

vibrator care

Top Vibrator Care tips Continued

  1. CAUTION!  DO NOT USE VIBRATORS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS OR ALCOHOL AS THE POSSIBILITY OF MISUSE MAY INCREASE!  We are concerned about your safety!
  2. Cords: If there is a cord between your vibrator and battery pack, donot tug the cord to remove the vibrator.  Since the cord can detach, it is better that you pull the vibrator out with your fingers.  Also, these vibrators should NOT be used anally since there is always the possibility of the cord detaching.  The vibrator would then possibly be irretrievable without medical intervention.  Now, do you REALLY want that to happen?  Use only toys with a flared base for anal insertion; these will never slip out of reach.
  3. Safe vibrator use:  It is advised that you use a condom on toys that are used by more than one person, and use a new condom for each person.  If the vibrator will be used for both anal and vaginal penetration, it is suggested that you use a new condom for each separate insertion.
  4. Battery placement:  If the batteries required are side by side, they should be placed with one positive and one negative end of the batteries facing up (A). If they are required stacked, they should point in the same direction (B). If you have purchased a Japanese vibrator with a clitoral attachment, we strongly suggest you use  carbon batteries instead of alkaline batteries. This will prevent the delicate, smaller vibrator motor from burning out.
  5. Tricks to get ’em going again: If your battery vibrator conks out, try GENTLY tugging up on the battery contact spring or metal tabs. This may help with the battery contact points.  Try changing the batteries either by replacing them or changing their position in the vibrator.  If all else fails, try GENTLY shaking the vibrator.  Although we don’t normally recommend doing this, sometimes it’s all it takes to get ’em buzzing again.
  6. Most of all, enjoy and have a good time!

And there you have it! Follow these tips and you’ll get more life out of your vibrator.

vibrator care tips

Battery-powered Vibrator Care: Part 1

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I want you to enjoy your vibrator for a long time. Keep it happy and you will be too! Let’s take a look at some tips for taking care of your vibrator.

vibrator care tips

Source: The Guardian

Top Vibrator Care tips

Battery vibrators are a great way to start or add to your collection of sex toys. They are basically manufactured as novelties and the quality can be unpredictable. Many of them come with manufacturer’s warranties in the box.

  1. Storage: It is best to keep the batteries outside of the vibrator until use. This will keep the batteries from corroding inside and destroying the mechanism. Doing this will also keep your vibrator and batteries running for a longer period of time.
  2. Whoops! Try not to drop your vibrator on the floor. They are pretty delicate and can easily break by doing this.
  3. Off and On: Make sure your variable speed vibrator is turned OFF when done. Removing the batteries prevents any possibility of this as when the speed is turned down very low, the vibrator seems to be off.
  4. Lubrication: You can safely use any water-based or silicone- based* lubricant with your vibrator. Please note that you cannot use an oil-based lubricant with jelly vibrators as it will make the material deteriorate.

    *It is advised that you do not use a silicone-based lubricant with silicone vibrators (or silicone dildos for that matter)

  5. Cleaning: Do not let the cap end of the vibrator come in contact with water (unless it is a sealed waterproof one and you have the cap on when washing your toy). Hold your hand over the cap area and gently wash the shaft with an antibacterial soap (it’s a good type of soap to use). You can also use a waterless hand cleaner which contains a high volume of alcohol. You may also notice your new toy may have a strong plastic or rubber odor. This will diminish by washing your toy frequently and leaving it out of the packaging.

That’s all for now, but be sure to go read part two of this series!

Sex toys are tricky when your wrist is broken.

The Trouble with Sex Toys for the (Temporarily) Disabled

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Here I am – now among the ranks of the (temporarily) disabled community. I banked into a wall during a workout and tried to break my fall with my left wrist which resulted in, well, breaking my left wrist. Getting thrust into this realm makes me think about using sex toys when you’re unable to fully grasp them, never mind successfully using personal lubricant without having it dribble into my cast. Hmmm… gives me pause and makes me think about the people that have permanent disabilities and how they can successfully and pleasurably use the gizmos in our crazy business.

What Sex Toys Should I Use?

Sex toys are tricky when your wrist is broken.
Looking at my grandopening.com website, which is chock full of pretty much anything you could ever want and need in the world of sex toys, I am now thinking about what vibrator has a cap at the base that I can twist with one hand (I have no gripping ability), what lube doesn’t have a silvery, stuck on seal that I can’t grasp, have lingerie I can slip in because even though I have a wad of fiberglas encircling my forearm that twirls down to the top of my knuckles and yet still feel sexy. And of course, there’s the other things I love to do, cast be damned!
So let’s see… in order to feel sexy, I might just light up one of those super sensuous massage candles available. You know, the ones made with soy oil that burn at a low temperature which allows me to dribble the oil all over my willing partner. Let’s see… oh look! They have a kind of pop top cap that MAYBE I can take off with one hand but they also have a plastic seal around the edge which does make it a little trickier to open, if at all. How about a pull off ring on the top so I can manage it with one hand? It might look a little cheesy but I’m disabled, you know. Hallelujah! Here’s the BSwish massage candle in a very sexy, open container that I can not only light easily but can grasp pretty easily, too, perhaps even with my casted arm.
Now about that lighter I need to light the candle. I think I’d either burn the house down or cause third degree burns if I tried to handle a lighter or matches right now. I think I’ll use my long charcoal bar-be-que lighter that I can easily wrangle with one hand that throws flames further than my almost-casted fingers.
On to the lingerie. Have to look good while using the sex toys, right? Since I can’t use something with long sleeves because it would probably snag at my elbow, how about slipping into something sexy with no zippers, buttons, snaps or eyelets that I have found are virtually impossible to use right now? Let’s see… Here’s a long schmata although the picture doesn’t show me what the back of it looks like.. hopefully it won’t have those aforementioned clothing closings which cause me so much temporary grief. And fortunately, I can shimmy into (and out of) that G string…
Okay, so the soy candle is lit, the lingerie is on (and it fits over my cast! Woohoo! It amazes me about what gets me excited now!), and now it’s time for the pleasure of toys… let’s see what I grab.
First, I always start with lube which I have always said and will always say, is the numero uno sex toy that everyone should have and use, disability be damned! So let’s look at some…
You know the caps that lots of lube companies use? The caps can sometimes be easy to flip open with one hand which is extra nice when you’re doing something else with sex toys with your hand, but about that pesky foil seal. Now I know that companies use them to ensure purity for the product inside, which is understandable but when you aren’t able to grasp the teeny tiny foil tabbie things on the seal, well, you’re SOL. What to do? Simple! Grab a pump bottle of lube instead! The pump assures you there will be no obstacle-inducing foil seals inside. The pumps go all the way to the bottom of the bottle so if I happen to tip the bottle in a wacky angle, it will probably work just fine. Thank goodness I already have this life-saving bottle of I-D lube at the ready. Pump size, natch.
As for sex toys, if it’s a solo flight, a dildo is a pretty safe bet. Easy to grab and hold on to, there are more dildos out there than I can shake a vagina at. Glass, silicone, or metal, they’ll always do the trick without leaving me frustrated that I can’t put batteries in the shaft ‘cuz for the most part, they ain’t made to do so.
Well, let’s say I want to visit vibrator land… there’s always the trusty silver bullet vibe and the standard one with the attached battery case cover, you know, the ones that take 2 AA batteries, that will let me open it with one hand. Never gave it much thought but now I sure do. The Ultra Bullet Power Vibe from Nasstoys is long enough to use on the outside or slip into the inside… just they way, uh huh uh huh, I like it…
Now if I want to use something other than the silver bullet in the land of sex toys, that might be a little trickier. The Evolved rolling speed control on their Roulette collection of vibrators might be easy to use in my frisky, disabled moments. Looking at the video which accompanies many of the products on the grandopening.com website, it shows me how to put the batteries in which helps me determine what I would need to do in order to successfully grasp the willing silicone vibe. Hmmm. Looks like I’d have to shove the shaft near my armpit to give it my newly learned upper bicep death grip which is what I use to open mayonnaise jars right now. If I can handle a 30 oz., 4 inch wide jar of Helman’s Light Mayo, a silicone vibe should be no problem. And the rolling speed control on the base will eliminate any twisting of my only other functional wrist and I’ll be careful not to use Helman’s as my lube.
Yes, I’m sure you’re all wondering about the other popular vibe out there. I know I can always grab the trusty Hitachi Magic Wand but if it slips away from my single, right handed grasp and falls onto my hardened left forearm, that could be a little ouchy, resulting in a quick sucking down of a Vicodin. Better leave the Hitachi to massage my aching shoulders instead.
Okay, enough about me. How about you, my dear lovers? I mean, what better way to increase blood circulation into my ailing appendage than to take things into my own hands and have some fun, mano a mano sexual relations with one-handed sex toys?
Well, being Trysexual (“I’ll try anything sexual”), there might be times I’m with a male buddy and want to do the ol’ hand jive. But wait! Sliding up and down with a wad of fiberglas in my fist is not my definition of a good time and most likely not his either! What to do? I think it’s time to use one of those hand-y hand job assistants, pocket pussies as they were, and use that with the assistance of my right hand and loose lips. A lightweight one would decrease the risk of creating muscle weakness in my one strong wrist so I better go with the Nasswalk Better Than Real Skin Pussy – Jessica (I’ll rename it Kim) because the Fleshlight is a tad bulky right now and I can’t crack open the Tenga Egg with a cast. Maybe smash it but it would wreck the feng shui of the moment.
Now, if it’s someone that delights in the sensation of being on the receiving end, aka pegging and those sorts of things, the easiest harness to use when you’re the one handed wonder is the ever-popular RodeoH harness, a simple to use, shimmy into pair of tighty whiteys that happen to have an easy-to-access harness ring built into the front. This makes for no pesky straps that I’d have to loop around a doorknob to tighten before the action starts. That would NOT be a pretty sight nor would I consider it foreplay (although some people I know would). All I need to do is pop an aforementioned dildo in place and presto! Cast be damned! I’m having a good time with my sex toys!
And you know what? I decided I am no longer telling people I crashed into a wall during a workout. It just doesn’t sound sexy enough so when people ask how I broke my wrist, I’m going to tell them I did it masturbating.
Ah yes, if only it were true.
JOTB:
If a stork brings white babies and a blackbird brings black babies, what bird brings NO babies?
A swallow.
Once a manager in a company had to let go of one of his employees, either Jack or Mary. He couldn’t decide who so he thought he would wait to see who would go up to the water cooler first.
He waited, then Mary went up to the water cooler to take two aspirin. He went up to Mary and said “Mary, I have a problem. I don’t know whether to lay you or Jack off.” She looked at him and said “You better jack off. I have a headache.”

Porn shops, gender, and more: the industry is full of assumptions

Gender: Do Not Assume

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You know the old adage, “When you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME.” Pretty clever, eh? I got to thinking that there’s the strong likelihood that people in this wacky adult industry assume a lot of things, with particular regard to gender. Let’s take a look at our assumptions…
Porn shops, gender, and more: the industry is full of assumptions
I really love going into adult stores. Porn stores. Peep shows. Arcades. Sex boutiques. Porno theaters (what’s left of them, anyway). You name it, I love it. But a lot of times, these assumptions can color one’s perceptions of what they actually see and experience there. Ask anyone who works in a porn store with male customers trading hard-earned cash for slippery, silvery tokens that are only to be fed into a slot machine (no, not THAT kind silly!) – the ones that show a few minutes of a tired video (okay, in reality, a DVD) for the pleasure of a few anonymous moments, to watch the scene unfold in the privacy of their own booth, only to have the time slip away before the magic moment when the customer creeps out into the front of the store to embarrassingly plead for a few more tokens so he can slide back into the booth to finish himself off.
Now, who is that guy? Old? Young? Well, that’s pretty obvious by just looking at him but the rest is really an unknown. That gold wedding ring can symbolize he’s married, so why is he in the booth with some other guy? Why is he watching that DVD “Trannies Gone Wild in Cabo”? There you go! You can’t assume that he’s a straight married guy, living in the suburbs with his 2.2 children because ya just never know.
And you can never assume anything by looking at the people IN the DVDs either! Watching those lesbian films of two (or more) girls going at it doesn’t make them lesbians – I mean, they’re in porno and they’re acting, you know! Or maybe they really are… you just can’t assume anything.
Not only can you not assume their gender preference, you can’t assume their gender either.
Now, let’s take the fab porn star Buck Angel… have you seen him? If not, I highly recommend seeing his new DVD “Sexing the Transman.” Yes, you read right. One look at Buck and you’d be saying “Hey Dude! Let’s meet at the local cigar hangout and light a few stogies together!” He’s a man’s man – buff with strong tribal tattoos adorning his thick guns, goatee that circles a mischievous grin, tight ass that he knows how to use, and wait! What’s that between his legs?!? It’s, it’s, it’s… a pumped up clit! Yep! He’s a transman and he’s damn proud of it. Born as a female and now living and being 100% male. He owns what he proudly calls “A Man Pussy” and if you want to widen your sexual horizons, get his DVD and see for yourself. He had several of his transman followers volunteer to be part of his groundbreaking video so they could show themselves to the world – transman junk and all. And no, Chaz Bono is NOT in the film and I can only hope he’s seen it himself… but we’ll never know. You can check out Buck’s great website right here.
Now, as with all transgendered persons, each and every one makes their own decision as to what level of transsexualism they want to undertake. Is it merely identifying as the opposite gender? Is it taking the hormones of the opposite gender? Is it having “top” surgery (either breast augmentation as a male to female or “chest reconstruction” for a female to male which is basically a double mastectomy)? Is it having “bottom” surgery (which is perfected for males to females and done by creating a vulva with the scrotum and a vaginal lining from the external penis skin and for females to males, well, it’s not quite as a perfected art but with the right amount of testosterone and a great surgeon, there can be some impressive results: check out the images here). Is it creating their own gender which makes them more comfortable in their being and not necessarily by subscribing to this or that gender. I own a sticker that says “Fuck Your Gender!” and that can sure mean lots of different things, including “Don’t Assume!”
And of course, there’s always the group that everyone ASSUMES is the only trans type of subdivision out there… the male to female transwomen (I guess that would be the politically correct reference), or affectionately called “Trannies.” My favorite TS performer once said to me “I want to make movies but not have them called “Tranny Surprise!” or be of run-of the mill quality,” and she not only is a total babe but comes packin’ a real nice 8″ – she’s Tara Emory who also makes her SPECTACULAR costumes, too. Her videos are beautiful and resemble Andrew Blake’s finest work… hey Andrew, time to spice things up and offer beauties of a different kind….
So, I’ll sign off this blog about assumptions around gender. I know my blog is about sex toys but letting go of assumptions, whether it be the gender, sexual preference, or the marital status of your customer, just keep in mind that it’s always good to check your assumptions at the door especially in this wacky business we know and love.
And the JOTB which is fitting for this one (there’s two)….
Once, a guy was dating a beautiful Thai woman and one time after having sex, he decided to ask her why she strokes his member for hours after he’s done his business. He mustered up the courage and said “Honey, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you… why is it that when we’re done having sex, you stroke my cock for as long as you do?” and she looked at him and sighed “Because I really miss mine…”
And last but not least….
Speaking of testosterone replacement (for female to male transsexuals) and estrogen replacement (which is what a lot of male to female transsexuals take), how do you make a hormone?
Don’t pay her…

Sex Toys, The Middle Ages & Other Women's Sexual Herstory

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Okay, by now you’re trying to remember what you learned in your sixth grade world history class for the dates between 600AD and 1500, roughly, well, gee, only 500 years ago. Or maybe you’re thinking of what kind of sex toys they had in the middle ages because this is XBIZ after all and this is my blog, Inside the Toybox by yours truly and it’s all I write about. You know, sex toys have been around since people have been having sex and I imagine it started with a rock, cucumber, potato, stick, and you get the picture.
Sex toys through the ages
But you know, many sex toy customers are LIVING in the middle ages! Yep! Many men and women in their mid-forties to their mid-sixties think this is the prime of their lives and since I fall into that range myself, I’m gonna put all of this in the first person. Experience and wisdom are acquired with age and I’m damn proud to say that I’ve been around the block and played the field and am one of the happiest cougars out there but that’s a whole ‘nuther blog and website.
When I opened Grand Opening! sexuality boutique in the Boston area in 1993, there were no stores that catered to women, never mind women “of a certain age” as they like to call themselves (okay, so I didn’t put that in the first person because I’m proud of my 53 years on the planet in excellent health, thankyouverymuch). So much has changed in those almost 20 years since I opened Grand Opening! and many of us baby boomers are grandparents and our sexual needs are waaaay different than those of you in your 20s (FYI – I missed the boat on childbirth because I wasn’t at the dock – I was out partying and having fun which I continue to do). Nowadays, aging men and women are more comfortable with talking about sexuality and a lot of that had to do with the birth of Viagra in 1997. ED? Before Viagra, we thought it was the name of the guy sitting at the end of the bar nursing a PBR.
So let’s jump into the education wrinkle in my middle aged noggin’ where I’ll share my knowledge of aging and sexuality, much of which I have gained in my 13 year membership in ISSWSH – the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health which I was asked to join upon its formation in 1998. This fascinating multi-disciplinary group of gynecologists, sex therapists, pelvic floor therapists, urologists and others was formed to find the Viagra for women and after all these years, no one has yet to nail it. But more on that later in another posting.

Menopause

Probably the first aspect of women’s middle age is menopause. It usually begins at age 35 (YES, 35 and I am sure many of you are shakin’ your panties about this) when female hormone production begins its many year slide into oblivion. There are other ways to experience the lovely effects of menopause earlier in life and they usually involve hysterectomy: a partial hysterectomy generally means removal of the uterus and/or fallopian tubes but leaving the estrogen-producing ovaries and cervix) or complete or radical hysterectomy which usually removes the entire reproductive system but usually leaves the vagina and sometimes the cervix in place. The reasons for hysterectomy can be plentiful: cancer of different parts of the system (ovarian, uterine, or cervical); endometriosis, which is a disease where the blood-thirsty cells of the lining of the uterus decide to take a trip around the body and swell up and spit blood out during a woman’s monthly cycle which the body reacts with a big WTF?! because those cells usually wind up where they shouldn’t be and the body automatically produces a spider’s web knot of scar tissue around the wayward critters where they land; fibroids and cysts which are a big pain in the abdomen and there are probably a few other reasons that escape me right now.
So don’t assume that you have to be middle aged to be in menopause – it can happen earlier, for sure.

Other Conditions

There are other medical conditions which impact women’s sexuality and some of them are physical such as vaginismus which is an unnatural tightening of the vagina that can be caused by vaginal dryness, atrophy from non-use which means these women don’t have or do anything penetrative (perish the thought but it DOES happen), and sometimes by trauma such as rape or incest where the emotional pain of the experience causes “shutting down” of the vagina. Of course, this is a very delicate conversation a woman would have with her therapist, partner, doctor, and, I am sure many of you are nodding about: their friendly neighborhood sex toy salesperson. Dysparuneia is another condition which translates into painful intercourse, aka fucking (damn, sometimes I get too freakin’ clinical for my own good), vulvadynia which is a painful vulva area and vulvar vestibulitis which may occur when there is inflammation and the mucous secreting glands found in the skin around the vulva. Ouch. Painful fucking is fucking painful.

Middle Aged Women & Sex Toys

Back to those middle agers…
Since my blogs have to do with sex and the many wonderful aspects of it especially in the retail arena, let’s say a middle aged woman walks into your store. It would be wise for you to give this customer some extra attention for many of the following reasons:

  1. She probably has more disposable income than you do
  2. She probably has more sexual experience than you do (MAYBE)
  3. It might have taken every ounce of courage for her to step into your store instead of go on line to buy stuff
  4. She was sent in my her gyno, shrink, partner
  5. She’s fed up with having a shitty sex life
  6. She’s dealing with one or more of the conditions mentioned, or
  7. All of the above

A great way to put her at ease is to give a tour of the store and focus on sex toys that may hold some appeal to her like the more slender vibes (dysparunia), clitoral vibes (she might need a little more stimulation because of her hysterectomy), a non-vibrating sex toy (aka dildo) (vulvar vestibulitis), and, get this, a BUTT PLUG for vaginismus. Yep! The shorter size and gentle taper are perfect for this condition but you really don’t want to say “These are usually made to shove up your ass but you can put it up in your too tight pussy, too.” No, no, no, no. She needs to be gently told that the taper of these specifically shaped toys will allow her to gently expand her vagina comfortably and gradually and believe me, with your ever-expanding knowledge and her ever-expanding vag, you’ll BOTH be happy and have a satisfied and returning customer.
And don’t forget the lube. There are many varieties that work especially well and my favorite has always been ID Glide, which is thick enough not to go running off fingers, sex toys, butt plugs, whoops, vaginal expanders, etc. ID Moments is especially mildly formulated and does not contain parabens or glycerin and more on that later so it’s a great lube to recommend for your medically sensitive patients, whoops, I mean customers. Wet makes Wet Naturals which is very good, too, and there are several others on the market but that’s another blog.
Okay, I have to go relax my vagina… see you on the next blog. And I haven’t forgotten about you guys: sex toys and ED and prostate stuff so hang in there… that’ll be another blog, too.
Now here’s the JOTB…

One time, this guy working in an adult store has to go run an errand so he asks his mother to work in the store for him. She has never worked there before and he briefly tells her the prices of things then he leaves the store.
Once he comes back, he asks his mother if she made any sales. She says “Why, yes, I did! I sold the small tan dildo for $9.95, the big black dildo for $15.95 and the huge plaid dildo for $24.95!”
The blog originally appeared on XBIZ

All Rabbit vibrators are not created equal.

Rabbit Vibrators and Anatomy: Do You Know Where My Clit and G Spot Is?

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You know, after being in this business for over 18 years after founding Grand Opening! in 1993, I am always completely amazed by all of the gizmos and vibrators that are constantly being invented and released by companies around the world. Products to stick in any available orifice, stick on any available wet spot, slide onto any naughty bit that compels you to do so and believe me, nothing is considered sacred. Butt holes, snatches, mouths… what else is there? I haven’t seen anything to create an ear-gasm but I have a feeling it’s just a matter of time.
Because you’ve been a steady reader of my blog, you already know the different types of materials that toys are made of but that’s not my issue with this blog. My issue is this: how many manufacturers actually TEST the toys they sell? Learn how they work? How ANATOMICALLY CORRECT are they? Given my experience working for a major IMPORTER (see previous blog), I can confidently tell you that the answer is NO. They, as well as many other major manufacturer/importers, look at products to determine their sellability and that’s pretty much it.

Rabbit Vibrators

For this product testing blog, let’s focus on Rabbit vibrators…

All Rabbit vibrators are not created equal.

This is where the good stuff is.


Now, what is it with the damned RABBIT vibrators that reproduce like, well rabbits. How many do we REALLY need? Anyway, looking at the several hundred that are out there, there’s only a few that are actually anatomically correct. For example, I have worked with a foreign manufacturer who was stunned when I pointed out how close the interior G Spot is to the external clitoris and I am sure this is something he was aware of whenever he had sex with his wife. This manufacturer spoke very broken English but it didn’t take too much to have him understand my hand signals showing him the position of the inside G Spot and the outside clit, while his wife was furiously nodding her head and smiling at me as if I had unleashed the Holy Grail of Female Anatomy. The toys that he designed were of the same design and thinking of so many other toys… that women always want long shafted vibrators and we ALWAYS want one of those damn rabbits on them because we ALWAYS want clitoral stimulation on our long shafted vibrators. Well, not all of us do but that’s another blog.
Let’s play Mr. Science for a moment: if you want to really experience how far the clit is from the internal G Spot, here’s something you can do as you read this. Make a claw shape with your hand, basically making the letter C with your thumb at the bottom and your fingers at the top (you can fold all the other fingers other than your index fingers for a better effect). Now, bend the first knuckle of your thumb and this is the general distance between the outside clit which is represented by the tip of your thumb and the interior G Spot which is now at the tip of your index finger. Not that far from each other, eh? Now go look at any number of those rabbit vibrators and you’ll see what I mean about how far the rabbits are from the magic G Spot stimulating twirling pearls (whether in a fixed rotation or not) or whatever the titillating, twirling, ever-amazing internal stimulation shaft gizmo that the particular toy offers.
There’s just two rabbit vibrators that I have found that actually have it right. One is not even a rabbit but a dual stimulator that is the correct shape without having that cervix pounding, too long, “a guy must have invented this” shaft. It’s made by Blush Novelties and it’s the Beau Clit Stimulating Vibrator with Dual Motors that’s waterproof, too! Now, if every toy manufacturer could base it on this perfect G Spot/clit distance, I’m sure there’d be lots more rabbits sold and a lot of them used more comfortably.
The other is the Silicone Deluxe Rabbit Pearl by Pipedream Products, which is one of my favorite toys. Here’s why it’s so great: it’s a not-too-long silicone vibrator with a section of twirling pearls that you can’t see but trust me, they’re in there. It has a rabbit, that, get this, is COMPLETELY moveable so you can put it on the shaft exactly where the rabbit will tickle your willing clit while the spinnin’ pearls are gonna hit exactly where your G Spot is. Basically, it’s a custom made rabbit just for you! (assuming you’re a woman). But wait! There’s more! (I told you this was my favorite rabbit) The rabbit has a removable small bullet vibrators in its butt so you can have the bunny vibrate or use the small, vibrating bullet on its own, too. AND THERE’S MORE! The wide silicone ring that the rabbit is on stretches and is removable and becomes a comfortable cock ring that can be used by itself for a rabbit ring! And for those of you who like stimulating yourself mano a mano, you can loop the rabbit cock ring on your index and middle fingers, stimulate your clit with the vibrating rabbit ears and find your own damn G Spot. The only drawback is that it has a not strong enough two speed motor but this rabbit makes up for that in so many ways, including the button that reverses rotating direction.
Wow… thinking of hundreds of rabbit vibrators out there is making me horny. Product testing… it’s a dirty job but I really love doing it.
Okay, this is one of my favorites for JOTB… (joke of the blog)
An elderly Jewish man comes back from an appointment and says to his wife “Sophie, da doctah tells me I got VD. Go look it up in the dictionary… I didn’t wanna ask him what it was.” Sophie returns with a huge smile on her face: she’s beaming! She says “Hymie, Hymie! You have nothing to vurry about… it only affects the Gentiles!”

Sex Toy News & What's Up With the "Sold As a Novelty Only" Line?

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Hey Word Press readers! This blog was written during the two adult sex toy industry trade shows and this has info about them as well as FANTASTIC information about sex toys, aka “novelties.” This is a really good blog, if I do say so myself!
Well, what a crazy few weeks it’s been here in Grand Opening!’s Sex Toy World! As you know, there were two back-to-back shows (“Can’t we just all get along?”) and the usual gossip between the two shows, none of which I’ll go into here (or anywhere else for that matter). The two shows presented many different products: at ANE – anything from college team colored and packaged vibrators sold in a booth complete with a taligatin’ electric powered hot dog griller (Sporty Vibe) to an electric zapping, vibrating, inflatable, internal, and the “don’t forget we have to put a rabbit on it to sell” vibe (Cal Exotics) at ANME (aka “The Founders Show”). Parties were great at both places, attendance a little more at one than the other but I won’t tell you which had what. As for location, for the ANE show, it was a little odd to be selling vibrators and dildos, masturbators and nipple clamps a few steps away from twirling juvenile ice skaters at the Pasadena Skate Center and I found myself tiptoeing daily into the rink after the show just to balance the smut and purity brainwaves in my overloaded cranium. I think that worked.
Now I could write about all the new sex toy goodies available at the show but for those of you who aren’t that familiar with how these shows work, it’s basically that they are the big Kahuna shows of the entire year and all of the companies race to have their products at least SHOWN at them but not necessarily have them in stock and available when you saunter into their booths.
You know, it’s funny, because I refer to the companies at the show as Manufacturers (and it’s also included in the official name of The Founders Show, ANME – which is the Adult Novelty MANUFACTURERS Expo) but why is it that most of them say “Oh, we got our samples in from CHINA just in time for the show.” Now wouldn’t that make them more appropriately called the Adult Novelty IMPORTERS Show? That would then make them A-NIS and I guess no one wants to say that out loud in public, even in this business.
And why are they constantly being called Novelties?

On Novelties in the Sex Toy Biz

Well, to tell you the truth, here’s why (this is why I love to blog AND have ADD because I never know where my scribblings are going to go but I can tell ya that you’ll always learn something)…
While I am not sure of the EXACT time and place they were starting to be called “novelties,” I can sure guess (I’ll update this blog when I get a definitive answer).
Not sure if my wonderful readers have ever heard of this book, but there is a fascinating history of vibrators by the technology historian, Rachel Maines of Cornell University, who was kind enough to take the time and answer my inquiry about the history of the term “novelties” as it has to do with sex toys. The book is The Technology of Orgasm: “Hysteria,” the Vibrator and Women’s Sexual Satisfaction (Baltimore MD: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1998) and if you’re a sex toy geek like me, this book is already on your shelf. If not, get it and become the smartypants sex toy retailer you’ve always wanted to be.
Anyhoo, what she sent me is her deposition about vibrators that was used in Alabama’s case against my pal Sherri Williams, where Alabama said it was illegal to sell sex toys and went after Sherri and her store. The case, if you’re not aware, went all the way to the Supreme Court (yes, THAT Supreme Court) where the justices didn’t want to touch ANYTHING about sex toys and vibrators and threw it back to the state to decide. I’m not sure where it stands right now but that’s another blog.
So, you lucky readers, here’s the link to her 44 page deposition which is incredibly interesting to read: Rachel Maines vibrator deposition. Download it, print it out and put this on the break table at the store where you work. You’ll be amazed and thanks, Rachel, for your generosity.
Now back to your regularly scheduled blog….
I’d say they were called novelties in order to not call them vibrators and it was probably in the 50’s. Again, just guessing… but why are they continued to be called “novelties”? Aren’t novelties something you get at the end freezer case in the ice cream aisle in the supermarket? Aren’t novelties something you hand out at a 3 year old’s birthday party? Aren’t they something you get when you order a MickeyD’s Happy Meal? Hey! What a marketing idea for McDonald’s! An ADULT Happy Meal! Get a free novelty when you eat your Happy Meal consisting of something you probably can’t order at McDonald’s!
Okay, back to that pesky novelty issue. Here’s the answer you’ve been waiting for and another tidbit. Ya ready? Today they are called novelties in order to skirt FDA approval at the docks! Yep! FDA says if it’s a “novelty only” then it’s not meant for insertion and therefore doesn’t need to be tested for purity and contents. “Gee, they’re really NOVELTIES,” the importers can say. “We don’t need no schtinking FDA approval!” So that’s the reason why, in the teeny tiny little print on the bottom of the box and bottles, it reads “Sold As A Novelty Only.” I won’t even go into the veil many companies hide behind when it comes to quality… don’t get me started.
I will say, though, that one of my favorite companies, Vibratex, has NEVER sold a product that states its a novelty because they have always stood behind the quality of their Japanese made products. Yes, sometimes their shipments are held at customs but the tradeoff for quality is worth it for them. They also have the ol’ reliable Hitachi Magic Wand in their ranks, too, which has NEVER been an adult novelty, just created for those “hard-to-reach-places” like the middle of your gams.
And what’s up with another statement used on adult NOVELTY packaging? You know the one “Do not use on unexplained calf pain.” Okay, now that’s NOT about Uncle Billy’s heifer in distress on the farm… noooo…. ya ready for this one, too? Here goes: all those vibrator manufacturers don’t want you to use them on your calves in case you have an undiagnosed blood clot in your legs, in which case, a vibrator could dislodge it and it may wind up in your heart leading to a heart attack or up to your brain, leading to a stroke. Pretty cool, huh? About the vibrators, I mean… not the strokes.
Okay, so back to the shows. I’ll let you know when my favorite sex toy picks from the show become available to the market in the next few weeks and months, or, in other words, when my ship comes in loaded with sex toys from the major IMPORTERS. I’ll meet you at the dock…
And this JOTB (joke of the blog) is a good one:
Once this kid goes to the pharmacist to buy condoms for the first time. The pharmacist asks “How many do you want?” The kid nervously responds “Um, a dollar’s worth.” The pharmacist rings it up and states “That’s a dollar, ten.” The kid asks “What’s the ten cents for?” The pharmacist answers “It’s for the tax.” “Ooooh!” the kid says, “I wondered how you kept them on.”
This blog originally appeared on XBIZ.com

How To Buy A Vibrator – A Primer for Selling to the First Timer

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how to buy a vibrator

Oh dear.
Source: jackace


We’ve all had a first time… first time love, first time sex (“You NEVER forget the first person you have sex with” I always tell my virgin listeners and I am sure, right now, you are all flashing upon who that person was for you), and, for many of us, you remember getting your first sex toy or vibrator.
If you’re a retailer of these fabulous gizmos, you know you can be the person who changes lives forever for your customer by making the purchase of a first time toy a comfortable, memorable experience. I know this first hand. When I opened Grand Opening! in 1993, I didn’t realize that creating a comfortable space and my love and enthusiasm of vibrators and sex toys would have such an impact on my customers. To this day, I have customers come up to me and say “I bought my first vibrator from you and I’ll never forget the experience. Now I have lots of them!” Kinda like lovers, I think!

Selling a Vibrator, Step By Step

So how do you make that memorable experience in your own store? First, create a comfortable space that’s inviting for EVERYONE, men, women (okay, maybe not children), for all sexual orientations, etc. (that’s a whole ‘nother posting for a whole ‘nother time).
Let’s say your customer is a woman who is visiting an adult store for the first time (yes, there are plenty of women out there like this) looking to get her first vibrator or sextoy and has no clue what she’s looking for. Your customer approach should be friendly and supportive while guiding her to make her OWN choice. That’s important! How to go about this? Preface your questions like this: “I’m going to ask you a few questions that you don’t have to tell me your answers but just think about them… What kind of stimulation do you prefer? Inside? Outside? Either? Both? Not sure?” You’ll see her thinking and sometime she’ll share her information with you. Continue with “If it’s outside, then a clitoral vibe will be good, like these bullet vibrators. If it’s internal, then these types of vibrators would work such as the popular G Spot vibes or the more “traditionally shaped vibrators.” They can also be used externally if you’re not sure which kind to get OR if you like both internal and external stimulation ‘cuz you’ll never know what’s on the menu on different nights! Also, if you just want the sensation of feeling full, dildos are great for that. Something to keep in mind is that a vibrator can be a dildo by just not turning it on, but a dildo usually can’t be a vibrator, although there are many out there where you can take out the vibrator such as the Tantus line of silicone toys.” Sometimes, she won’t know what size to reference and I always mention “Think of a lover you’ve had and what size made you happy…” (Notice no gender preference there? No “what size was he?” type of thing because you never know what someone’s preference is when they walk into the door).
Now this is probably THE most important thing to mention when someone is choosing ANY toy. I always say THE most important factor when buying a toy is to tell your customer GET WHAT APPEALS TO YOU VISUALLY. It’s kind of like food: if you don’t like what the food looks like, you probably won’t want to eat it. Your friends might say “The Rabbit is my favorite toy” but if you’re thinking that it might be too big or the gizmo looks like it’s going to do too many things, then DON’T GET IT. It will only sit in a drawer and collect cat hair on it. By finding a toy that agrees with your eyes, it means that your body is agreeing to it too, since it will ultimately be your body using it. Your customer will be grateful for this information and guidance.
So use these tips in your brick and mortar store or if a friend asks you how to buy a vibrator or dildo. It works!
Okay, and on another front… in case you missed it, here’s some good info about the ongoing “battle” between LA County health officials and those of us in the adult industry. Here’s the full XBIZ report: The dirt…
And here’s the JOTB: A woman goes to the produce department in a grocery store and picks up a cucumber. The clerk comes up to her while she picks one out and says “Oh, those are 75¢ each and two for $1.00.” “Hmmm…” she says as she grabs a second, “I guess I could eat the other one.”
This blog originally appeared on my blog on XBIZ.com

Bombs Away With Bullet Vibes!

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Geesh! You know, I’m crackin’ with blogging about all different kinds o’ sex toys, drill down (or, is that, drill IN) with individual sex toys (product testing is the best part of this job!), and give ya lots of general info, too. So here’s another installment for ya with bullet vibes as the focus!
You already have the 411 about silicone dildos so how’s about dem bullets? Yeah, bullet vibes and eggs… A quick peek at my Grand Opening! website leads me to, WHAT??!? SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE CHOICES!! Let’s see, that almost works out to one bullet for almost two years… what’s a girl to do?!

How to Pick the Right Bullet Vibes

Okay, let’s break this down to a couple of categories… how about small and wireless first. There’s one touch mini ones, big wireless ones, little wireless ones, remote control ones (okay, they usually have a small wire for the radio signals). These bullets are great to use clitorally (externally), or some of ’em can even get slipped into vagina land and they’ll make your pelvis vibrate better than one of those fake pussy masturbation jack packs for guys ‘cuz it’s the REAL THING! (Okay, so maybe the other difference is that you have to buy us dinner first). But you have to pop out the small wireless bullets if they’re inside, otherwise your upcoming sonogram is gonna look pretty weird. Learn how to squeeze ’em out which is the best way to do it.
Squeeze ’em out… oh yeah. Using that great sex muscle, aka PC muscle or, if you really wanna get technical, the pubococcygeus muscle, which connects the pubic bone to the coccyx bone (your tailbone) and is basically the pelvic “sling” that holds your guts up, otherwise aforementioned guts would pool around your ankles and make walking difficult, never mind breathing a little tricky. The PC muscle in gals can squeeze around anything inserted and squeeze out anything that needs it to. It comes in handy when you want to pop out wireless bullet vibes when the action has trickled out of your throbbing snatch.
BUT! No matter how good you think it might feel, you NEVER want to put a wireless bullet up your butt because it can easily slip into never-never land and just ask any emergency room tech about the latest x-ray they took. It’s only funny if it happens to someone else…
Okay, so let me pick a couple of my favorite bullet vibes for their quality and power: the simplest and easiest to use is the Screaming O, single speed one touch bullet that takes 3 LR44 watch batteries. Easy to travel with, easy to use. A little bigger (and not so much for insertion) and incredibly powerful, is the Ro-88 Chrome Bullet, a single speed beauty that is strong enough to satisfy those gals who insist that bullets aren’t strong enough.
But in all of my experience in selling bullets and vibrators to thousands of horny folks, Pipedream’s wireless remote vibe is the best for quality, value, and thrills. This wireless, slightly larger, remote controlled sucker works through METAL WALLS AND DOORS and up to about 100′ away. I’m not kidding. Put this one up your lovebox and let the fun begin. And it has 10 speeds so just hand over the control to someone else and go along for the ride. You won’t be disappointed and you’ll be hungry for more.
Speaking of horny… I have to get back to more product testing… poor me…
This blog originally appeared on my blog for XBIZ.com

So What's That Dildo Made Of? A Brief History of Silicone Toys

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Let’s look at the original kind of sex toys: dildos. History has it that jade and stone and probably wood and bone have been used as sextoys in the past (and probably still are. Maybe that’s where the term “boner” came from). Dildos were and probably still are the most easily accessible toys out there – pretty much anything with a cylindrical shape that can fill a woman’s vagina (or, for both sexes, a butthole) is a dildo. Hey, why do kids on the playground insult each other by calling their rivals “You dildo!”? If they only knew at their tender ages that dildos can make for some hot sex, they’d use a different insult… Some people call these “dongs” also but I think that’s an old school name for them so I’ll call ’em dildos… where did the name “dong” come from anyway?
Back to sex toys. Dildos had been made with all sorts of things then a rubber material called latex came along. Ah, latex. The material that was once part of every toy is now considered old school. It’s kind of expensive to use now and it’s sticky and stinky and messy to use so most companies are getting away from using it for their toys. And there’s that pesky latex allergy thing that so many health care practitioners are complaining of, probably due to over exposure to the stuff… glad I didn’t use too many BandAids as a kid. So not many companies are using it anymore for toys and that’s a good thing.

Silicone: The Dildo’s Best Friend

So what ARE they using? Briefly, there’s the top o’ the line silicone – a non-porous rubber that has no odor and costs a little more but is worth it. And here’s a little known factoid about the silicone dildo… wanna learn the history of how they became dildos to begin with? Sure
you do!
Once upon a time, there was this Jamaican man named Gosnell Duncan, who, due to an unfortunate accident, was unable to copulate with Mrs. Duncan (I’m keeping this story PG in case you want to read it to your kids at bedtime. Or your girlfriend). One night she said to her hubby, “Oh, Gosnell, honey, I wish you could make a dildo so you could fuck my brains out at night.” (Whoops, forgot about the kid’s bedtime story) “Oh, Gosnell, honey, I wish you could be the man that I married and make love to me like it was our wedding night again.”
So what did the enterprising Mr. Duncan do? After months of thinking about this with his other disabled men buddies, he thought of what kind of material was out there in the world that was durable, firm yet flexible, could retain body heat, was waterproof (I suppose Mrs. Duncan might have gotten a little wet in that department), could be made in many colors, and could easily be made without having to travel to Indonesia to get that raw, stinky, latex material. And guess what material that was? Silicone! As in SILICONE BATHTUB SEALANT! Yep, Mr. Duncan went straight to the source who originally formulated the stuff, a little known company called GE – known more for their light bulbs and bringing good things to light. The kind folks at GE started to work with Mr. Duncan with his odd but compassionate request for help and two years later, Mr. Duncan was fabricating real looking dildos out of skin toned silicone which all the men and their lucky wives enjoyed copiously.
So how did these puppies wind up in the hands and snatches of women around the world? Ah! Not an easy answer! Around 1975, Mr. Duncan was reading about a small, feminist sex toy shop in Manhattan (which is also credited with being the FIRST one in the country) called Eve’s Garden, founded and owned by Dell Williams. When he saw the ad, Mr. Duncan thought in his sing-songey Jamaican accent “Owh… I wonder if leeezbions would like dem?” and he got in touch with Ms. Williams and the rest, as they say, is HERSTORY.
And oh, about those other materials for sextoys? I’ll let you know about them in future blogs. I gotta go do some product testing. Now where’s my lube?
This blog originally appeared on my web blog on XBIZ.com