Airs-ing My Underwear

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Why do women’s underwear always have white crotches?

In my life, I’ve probably owned hundreds of pair of underwear, well, not PAIRS but single ones. Wait. Why do they call them a PAIR of underwear when you wear only one at a time? I digress.

Ever since I shed my diapers for the real thing, I’ve been through the many life changes my female body can experience. First, non-descript little kids underpants that survived countless washings by my dedicated Mom. Then, with my adolescent 12-year-old body, I burst into womanhood by splotching a red blob onto my underwear while I was having fun at a friend’s sleepover. I showed my Mom my underwear and she sighed, “Yep. Looks like you just got your period.”

From there, I progressed to underwear that I wore for 5 days of the month while on the rag which had wide enough crotches to stick my maxi-pad onto or that I dared to wear while dancing around a tampon inside my virginal vagina. Yes, I kept some underwear separate because no matter how well I planned to keep them blood-free, they inevitably got stains on them.

In my 20s, I did the thong thing (which I really didn’t like but sure nicely showed off my ass), but they definitely didn’t have enough fabric in the center to hold onto ANY maxi-pad or mini-pad for that matter. They stayed in the drawer for those 5 special days of the curse until the 6th day when I could go back to showing off my ass again. My underwear, er, panties from my super sexually active days were panties that fell into the “fuck and chuck” category: wear ’em once then toss ’em and yes, they looked especially nice on the floor.

So now, at age 62, I’m ten years post-menopausal which means I no longer have to put up with that pesky monthly bleeding that I had to endure for the majority of my life and, for me, happily did not result in childbirth. That monthly period bloodletting… the one thing that ruined at least half of the underwear I’ve owned and countless sheets and I sure don’t miss it one bit.

But now, and undeniably, ALWAYS, I have had a normal female discharge that unfortunately, carelessly, stains the center of my underwear: aka crotch, aka gusset for you underwear designers out there. Yes, women will have a relatively scentless, natural discharge from a healthy vagina despite what modern media tells you.

So what’s up with that? I always thought discharge is when I wanted to return something on my credit card but no. Why don’t we just call them sexy secretions instead? Discharge. It sounds oh so negative.

According to the pharmaceutical manufacturer of Monostat, the manufacturers of various treatments for those bothersome yeast infections, “Vaginal discharge comes from glands inside your vagina and cervix. These glands produce small amounts of fluid also known as vaginal secretions. The fluid flows out of the vagina each day, cleansing old cells that have lined the vagina. This is a completely natural process — it’s your body’s way of keeping your vagina healthy and clean.”

That sounds pretty good to me! I like having a clean and healthy vagina!

But something has bothered me for a long time. I think of it daily as I shimmy into my underwear in the morning. It is this: Why do underwear manufacturers insist on making underwear with a lining in the crotch made of white fabric? Is it some kind of dirty joke to promote virginal crotch purity? Is the whiteness supposed to reflect back on my body’s natural attempt at cleaning out my vaginal lining? “Keep it clean, girls!” my underwear seems to be screaming at me. “Remember, if you get hit by a bus….” and I know you know that line.

Every year or so, I purchase new underwear so they won’t cause me spastic levels of embarrassment when I drop them in front of complete strangers. Before my morning coffee, I have to run through my schedule to try to remember if I have a doctor’s appointment, a date, or even a chance encounter with a Mr. Right Now. I have to ponder, “Is someone going to see the crotch of this underwear I’m putting on? Will I have to delicately scramble out of them so no one sees my daily vaginal secretion?” I shouldn’t have to do this and I have an idea for those underwear manufacturers out there.

Why not line the crotches of your underwear with fabric of a discharge-compatible color like ochre, or cinnamon, or some sort of light brown. Yes, light brown. I can hear you squirming this very minute. But let’s face it. These are the colors of what our underwear looks like even after wearing and washing them for the first time! These are natural bodily function colors that I am sure so many women can understand and relate to after having their secretions grace their underwear even after wearing them once. These panties are no longer virginal white. They are no longer pure. They are stained with the cells that have provided us with vaginal health. There’s gotta be a better way than dealing with white crotched underwear that slathers on the guilt by forcing me to wear a panty liner so I don’t have to look at yet another pair of underwear with a sexy secreted, light browned white crotch.

I thought I’d be done with this after I jumped over the menopause hurdle. But no, my secretions still gently evacuate my vagina on a daily basis which reflects my good general health and well being. So I guess I’ll just have to keep buying new underwear for as long as I live and yeah, I STILL have super sexually active days.

Welcome 2015! My Sexy New Year's Resolutions

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It’s that time of the year again, when we wipe the slate clean, throw out the old and ring in the new. New beginnings. New goals. New ideas. New, new, new. Yes, it’s the New Year and this year is gonna be different.
I resolve to keep learning as much as I can about shit I don’t know. I’ll tell ya, I always get a thrill when I learn something that I didn’t know when I take my head off the pillow in the morning. When I see someone doing something that I can’t figure out, like working on some hidden pipeline as I walk down the street, I ask them what they’re doing so I can learn even more about what’s under my feet. They are always sharing knowledge with me that goes into yet another fold of the grey matter between my ears.
Why? Because there’s too many things happening not to be! There’s an app to do just about everything, new places to discover, new restaurants to explore, new people to meet and new things to learn.
I resolve to be out there more. Yes, BE out there more. As in be in touch with more of you to spread the word about the wonderful world of sex. And motorcycles. Yep, motorcycles. More on that in another blog… And yeah, sex toys… I can’t love ‘em enough! I’ll review more, post more, post more videos and get more yummy tidbits out there, just for you. And please feel free to share…
But back to sex. It’s such an amazing thing, it really is, and has been such an integral part of my life for decades. I have experienced so much and only feel that I’m just beginning. Like 2015. And I’ll share those experiences with you and of course, change the names to protect the not too innocent!
So here’s to a fantastic 2015. I know I’ll be adding lots more here, having special events, discounts, tidbits and stuff posted. Just the way I like it – connecting with you and sharing true tales of sex, sextoys, lust, love, motorcycles, Grand Opening! and anything else that comes to mind. Please join me!
Lots of love,
Kim

Car sex

More Car Sex Tips from Yours Truly

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Car sex

Source: Sexpresiones


So, if you read my first post about doin’ it in public in vehicles, you know I get turned on by car sex. But after I hit “publish,” I got a few more ideas and remembered a few more fun excursions in cars that I wanted to share. And I totally didn’t touch on oral sex last time. So here we go!

The Car Sex Tips Start Here!

I get tremendous pleasure by giving blow jobs to my pals who also happen to be driving. Yeah, I know that texting is illegal while driving but I don’t think there’s any law against giving oral sex while driving.
Let the cruising begin.
First, check what kind of console it is in between the two of you. With any luck, it will be a lower one where you can comfortably rest your shoulders when it comes time to place your lips in his lap. Be aware of where the shift is, too. The worst thing is if he has to suddenly downshift and slams the shift stem into your face. It’s enough to make you chomp down on his junk.
But we’re not planning to do that.
When it comes time to put your lipstick on his dipstick for some good, old-fashioned oral car sex, casually tilt your body towards his and drop your head in the middle of his pants. Oh yeah. You might want to unzip them before you go at it – there’s nothing like having him leave the car with slobber juice all over his fly.
And have him wiggle his member out of his tighty whiteys to make your job easier. Or, if you can manage this, wiggle the monster out yourself, trying not to snag those pubies which may result in a quick, inadvertent side swipe of the car in the next lane.
Okay, now down to business. By this time, he might be swelling up with anticipation as the miles zoom by.
To add an extra fun experience, have your guy play taxi cab driver. Smuthound was a cab driver at one point in his life and I decided I wanted to take a penis-eye view drive around town. Once I plopped my noggin on his log’n, he began to drive around the city while I looked up trying to figure out what street and which block we were on. I would simply tilt my head upwards, make my guess, take a breath, and then return to my sucking with vigor.
Toward the end of the hour-long ride, he would park in some anonymous parking lot to allow us to finish ourselves off and the windows were inevitably steamed up at this point from all the hot car sex. I often got to finger myself into orbit and he shot his load in his hand or within my mouth if I so desired.
The crowning moment of our frequently two-hour drive (and about two hour blowjob) was when I finally sat up to see where we parked. Most of the time, it was in a dark corner of an unattended parking lot where we were usually the only ones there.
And then maybe we’d go at it again and have some more, nasty in-the-car sex action.
So back to you, dear reader/blow job giver…
Part of the fun of giving a blow job in the car and car sex in general is to have your guy continue to drive without acting like he’s getting his parts oiled – you know, keeping his eyes on the road and his hands upon the wheel. Let it roll, baby, roll…. For god’s sakes, remind him NOT to look down at you while you’re heading down the road ‘cuz it’s damn uncomfortable to have to wear a seatbelt while you’re doing this… or him either.
Speaking of which, if it happens to be a well-traveled road you’re on, complete with semi-trucks tearing by you, keep in mind that often, the driver can look down and get a visual piece of the action. This can be a real turn on of you’re an exhibitionist like me (there, I said it) and if you’re extra lucky, you’ll be able to tilt your head up, gaze through your inevitably fucked up hair, and make an eye connection with aforementioned truck driver and no, not all of them are toothless road warriors from the south. Actually, some of them are fuckin’ hot which makes showing off your prowess at oral car sex in the front seat lap all the better.
And when rolling sideways with a semi, make sure your blowjobed driver watches the road even more carefully because the last thing you want to happen is to get pinned between the semi and a guard rail while the truck driver is whacking off to your bobbing head.
When it gets time to finish the deed, if you’re avoiding gobbling the junk spunk, try not to jerk your head quickly which may startle the owner of the squirting manmeat. Best they give you a little warning so the jizz can fly in your palm instead of in your eye.
Now, if you happen to want to lap up his bodyjuice and take that pop in the mouth, do so without dribbling on his crotch, which may take some clever neck bending, breathing, swallowing and hand use all at the same time. Make sure he keeps focused on the road, too, while he’s taking part in one of the oldest rituals known to man. Shooting off, that is, not driving.
When you sit up, it will be blatantly obvious as to what you’ve been doing especially if your hair becomes as fucked up as it usually does. Sit up with a glazed over smile to let your fellow travelers know what you’ve just done. If you really want to get into the theatrics of it all, make a big, exaggerated face swipe with your forearm to get rid of any stray droplets you may have on your cheek. This will make every guy within eyeshot jealous and make every woman watching jealous of your brashness and boldness. Eat your hearts out, girlies.
Now, if you want to eat pussy while you’re driving… that’s another blog. In a different car. While you’re pulled over by the side of the road. Towing a U Haul…
Oh yeah…
 

Public car sex

Public Sex in Cars: A Definite Turn On

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So maybe the idea of public sex scares the living daylights out of you. Well, my friend, it shouldn’t because people do it all the time. The rush of the moment of exhibitionism is always exceeded by the excitement generated by the fear of getting caught doing it.
And oh yeah, the sex.


I am a total proficiando of outdoor, done in public sex. Now, I don’t mean grabbing a blanket and doing it on the 50 yard line of the high school football field although that sure sounds tempting. No, I’m talking about hot, nasty parking lot sex. Or fucking in a hidden corner of a construction lot.

Public Sex in Cars: A few Quick Tips

Here’s a few tried and true tips that you can try tonight. Or now. NOW.
If you’re going to get busy in a car, there are many things you can do. First, nighttime is the easiest time to get away with public sex because it’s difficult to see into a car at night. You know this because you can’t see the other person in the car in the other lane flip you the bird after you just cut them off on the highway. No problem then.
Best thing to do is NOT to go to a “Lover’s Lane.” Too easy to get caught there. An easy thing to do is to back your car into a car repair shop parking lot, in between cars that are ready to go into the shop the next day. There will most likely be a gap in between from someone that just picked up their car earlier in the day.
Now, I emphasize BACK YOUR CAR IN. The reason is that when your car is back against a wall, it will pretty much eliminate any risk of someone coming up from behind you and scaring the shit out of you and your secret rendezvous. Plus, most of the cars will be backed into the spaces anyway so you’ll blend right in. Turn off your lights as you are pulling into the repair place because someone may notice a car backing in and think it’s a little suspect.
Then do the nasty. Your car windows will get fogged up which will probably be okay since no one will be looking in from the sides. Also, since you’ve backed in, you have a full view of anything through the windshield even if you have to wipe it down a few times during the session.
Another great place is in an industrial park at night. There will always be an empty parking lot somewhere. There MAY be security cameras but think about it: The security guard watching them has probably seen this before and will be jerking off watching YOU as you start to steam up the windows during your public sex session. Depending on the darkness and privacy of the place, you may want to get out of the car and continue fucking on the hood (or flat against the side of the car). But I’m getting ahead of myself.
There have been many an industrial park that I drive by during the day when it’s teeming with vehicles and I smile, knowing that I’ve had hot public sex right under their noses several hours after their departure.
Another great twist for an industrial park is to look for loading platforms that make the tail end of the 18 wheeler sink lower so the loading dock is at ground level. You know what I mean. The perfect thing about them is when you back in (natch), the car will disappear under the surface of the loading dock, provided you aren’t in an SUV. When the car sinks under the loading dock, all you need to do is look forward, again, through the windshield. Also, you really don’t have to worry about anyone coming from three sides of your car.
If you REALLY feel like fucking while parked in the streets, do it so that you can look through the front and rear windows as well as the side view mirrors to see if anyone is sneaking up on either side of you. All of this while you’re fucking and the windows are getting steamed up. I find that the guy is never the one to pay attention to the possible surprise ambush so it’s up to us gals to stay on top of things. Which is a perfect position for when you’re fucking in cars.
Once I was with my pal SmutHound, who I had plenty of outdoor escapades with. We had just done a hot, mutual masturbation scene, leaving both of us rather spent. We were parked in a QUASI industrial area, meaning that there were residents around… in their lofts… but close enough. We just finished and I commented how all the times we’ve had public sex, we’d never been caught.
And then it happened.
If you’re caught, the easiest and most believable thing to do is to giggle your way out of it and say “It’s been our fantasy to do this for a long time” and look lovingly at your partner since they will most likely be shitting bricks at this point. This line works particularly well even with one night stands as they will be remarkably impressed with your candor and skill in handling the situation.
So we were both inside of the car, leaning against the window, seat, and dashboard with our splayed out legs, underwear by ankles, breathing that post-shoot off dizzybreath, when the cop car pulled in front of us at a perpendicular angle (we WERE backed in of course) and flashed the brightest, blinding flashlight in our eyes that I have ever experienced. “Oh shit!” we both responded. “And we were just talking about not ever being caught!”
The cop approached the car with the cold flashlight continuing to bear down on our privacy. He looked at my friend and demanded he show him an ID. I was sitting opposite and started to feel a little slighted that he asked for HIS ID and not mine.
Shortly after, the cold hearted cop asked for my ID which I gladly gave him. I pointed out that my friend was from a town south of where I lived and I was north of where we were. “We like to meet in the middle!” I chirped, trying to get a wink and a nod from Mr. Post-Orgasm Buster.
“You were doing a very private thing in a very public place so just get moving,” he blurted as he handed back our IDs. He then strutted back to the car, knowing what he did but also knowing he did the right thing.
The cop car took off. I looked at my friend and said “Let’s do it again!” We decided not to but then it became our in joke of “doing a very pubic thing in a very private place.”
So let that personal example be one for you if you ever get caught having public sex!
Car Sex Tips To Remember:

  • Back in to the parking space no matter where you are
  • Have plenty of safe sex supplies and take them with you when you leave the car. God forbid Junior finds them under the seat when looking for his baseball.
  • Remember to giggle if you get caught.
  • Look for security cameras when parking in an industrial park.

And most of all, have fun!