Gender: Do Not Assume

You know the old adage, “When you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME.” Pretty clever, eh? I got to thinking that there’s the strong likelihood that people in this wacky adult industry assume a lot of things, with particular regard to gender. Let’s take a look at our assumptions…
Porn shops, gender, and more: the industry is full of assumptions

I really love going into adult stores. Porn stores. Peep shows. Arcades. Sex boutiques. Porno theaters (what’s left of them, anyway). You name it, I love it. But a lot of times, these assumptions can color one’s perceptions of what they actually see and experience there. Ask anyone who works in a porn store with male customers trading hard-earned cash for slippery, silvery tokens that are only to be fed into a slot machine (no, not THAT kind silly!) – the ones that show a few minutes of a tired video (okay, in reality, a DVD) for the pleasure of a few anonymous moments, to watch the scene unfold in the privacy of their own booth, only to have the time slip away before the magic moment when the customer creeps out into the front of the store to embarrassingly plead for a few more tokens so he can slide back into the booth to finish himself off.

Now, who is that guy? Old? Young? Well, that’s pretty obvious by just looking at him but the rest is really an unknown. That gold wedding ring can symbolize he’s married, so why is he in the booth with some other guy? Why is he watching that DVD “Trannies Gone Wild in Cabo”? There you go! You can’t assume that he’s a straight married guy, living in the suburbs with his 2.2 children because ya just never know.

And you can never assume anything by looking at the people IN the DVDs either! Watching those lesbian films of two (or more) girls going at it doesn’t make them lesbians – I mean, they’re in porno and they’re acting, you know! Or maybe they really are… you just can’t assume anything.

Not only can you not assume their gender preference, you can’t assume their gender either.

Now, let’s take the fab porn star Buck Angel… have you seen him? If not, I highly recommend seeing his new DVD “Sexing the Transman.” Yes, you read right. One look at Buck and you’d be saying “Hey Dude! Let’s meet at the local cigar hangout and light a few stogies together!” He’s a man’s man – buff with strong tribal tattoos adorning his thick guns, goatee that circles a mischievous grin, tight ass that he knows how to use, and wait! What’s that between his legs?!? It’s, it’s, it’s… a pumped up clit! Yep! He’s a transman and he’s damn proud of it. Born as a female and now living and being 100% male. He owns what he proudly calls “A Man Pussy” and if you want to widen your sexual horizons, get his DVD and see for yourself. He had several of his transman followers volunteer to be part of his groundbreaking video so they could show themselves to the world – transman junk and all. And no, Chaz Bono is NOT in the film and I can only hope he’s seen it himself… but we’ll never know. You can check out Buck’s great website right here.

Now, as with all transgendered persons, each and every one makes their own decision as to what level of transsexualism they want to undertake. Is it merely identifying as the opposite gender? Is it taking the hormones of the opposite gender? Is it having “top” surgery (either breast augmentation as a male to female or “chest reconstruction” for a female to male which is basically a double mastectomy)? Is it having “bottom” surgery (which is perfected for males to females and done by creating a vulva with the scrotum and a vaginal lining from the external penis skin and for females to males, well, it’s not quite as a perfected art but with the right amount of testosterone and a great surgeon, there can be some impressive results: check out the images here). Is it creating their own gender which makes them more comfortable in their being and not necessarily by subscribing to this or that gender. I own a sticker that says “Fuck Your Gender!” and that can sure mean lots of different things, including “Don’t Assume!”

And of course, there’s always the group that everyone ASSUMES is the only trans type of subdivision out there… the male to female transwomen (I guess that would be the politically correct reference), or affectionately called “Trannies.” My favorite TS performer once said to me “I want to make movies but not have them called “Tranny Surprise!” or be of run-of the mill quality,” and she not only is a total babe but comes packin’ a real nice 8″ – she’s Tara Emory who also makes her SPECTACULAR costumes, too. Her videos are beautiful and resemble Andrew Blake’s finest work… hey Andrew, time to spice things up and offer beauties of a different kind….

So, I’ll sign off this blog about assumptions around gender. I know my blog is about sex toys but letting go of assumptions, whether it be the gender, sexual preference, or the marital status of your customer, just keep in mind that it’s always good to check your assumptions at the door especially in this wacky business we know and love.

And the JOTB which is fitting for this one (there’s two)….

Once, a guy was dating a beautiful Thai woman and one time after having sex, he decided to ask her why she strokes his member for hours after he’s done his business. He mustered up the courage and said “Honey, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you… why is it that when we’re done having sex, you stroke my cock for as long as you do?” and she looked at him and sighed “Because I really miss mine…”

And last but not least….

Speaking of testosterone replacement (for female to male transsexuals) and estrogen replacement (which is what a lot of male to female transsexuals take), how do you make a hormone?

Don’t pay her…

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Kim Airs

Sexuality Specialist at Grand Opening!
Kim Airs is the founder of the upscale sexuality boutique, Grand Opening! She's since moved the store online and now offers a ton more sex toys and goodies for your own personal shopping experience! You can find her on and Twitter.

1,211 Comments

on “Gender: Do Not Assume
1,211 Comments on “Gender: Do Not Assume
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