Innovation, Customer Service Buck Motorbunny Into the Forefront

I love my job. I really do. With 26 years of experience in the sex toy industry under my belt and in my panties, I think I’ve done it all and seen it all — up until now.

Imagine my utter thrill in getting the latest incarnation of the innovative Motorbunny to straddle and review. And imagine my continued thrill to be able to enjoy every pulse and thrust with my every cell while riding this amazing power pack of pleasure. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

People buying a Motorbunny are investing in their sex lives and they deserve to have it be a reliable product that works.

Saddle-type, riding pleasure machines have been around for quite some time and it wasn’t until five years ago that Caleb Thompson, co-founder of Motorbunny, decided that there needed to be an addition to the one product that dominated the market for decades. He realized that the single product available was priced really high, was never on sale or had a promotional discount, and most of all, lacked change or innovation in that category.

“Me and my partners come from a corporate IT background and we’re all serial entrepreneurs,” shared Thompson. “Despite the fact that we all are uninterestingly vanilla, we thought this would be an interesting opportunity to not only improve the product but also offer a comparable one for $800 less than the forerunner.”

He continued, “Brooks Butler is the other co-founder. Brooks has a start-up background, and is the technology expert in the team. He is absolutely relentless in challenging the status quo. Brooks is the guy who will keep Motorbunny in the lead position as a technology innovator in our industry.”

Craig Mewbourne rounds out the founders’ trio as the chief marketing officer. His experience is working with marketing firms representing large global companies and now he focuses on the fierce customer service Motorbunny is known for.

The team got hard at work in their offices in the Midwest, making sure that Motorbunny was going to fill the holes the other product left behind. (Holes in the behind — yes, that’s one way to use it!) They felt that users would be more inclined to use a saddle stimulator that would vibrate and thrust instead of simply spin around and vibrate —which were the only options for the other product. Given the popularity of more commonly available thrusting (aka “fucking”) machines, they knew this would make the Motorbunny different, offering thrusting and vibration while experiencing the comfort of straddling a saddle rather than having to stand or be on all fours to receive the thrusts from a large, clunky, all metal “standard” fucking machine that didn’t even vibrate.

There was more the Motorbunny team wanted to perfect. They wanted to combine durability and quality since they found the machine would have to endure not only excessive use but also being toted around to clubs, parties, dungeons and other places where like-minded penetration practitioners populate.

Thompson explained, “These machines have to be industrial strength for all kinds of wear and tear. People buying a Motorbunny are investing in their sex lives and they deserve to have it be a reliable product that works; and if they have trouble with it, they should have someone stand behind it and resolve it for them.”

This is another way Motorbunny differentiates itself from other saddle-type pleasure products currently available.

Thompson boasted, “Our customer service is like no other in the industry. We are obsessive about our customers and feedback from them regarding everything from the texture of the cover, to the packaging and then incorporating that feedback with every single manufacturing cycle we go through. We usually go through six or seven manufacturing cycles, consistently listening to customer feedback when we make changes.”

Never satisfied with just one product, two years ago, Motorbunny began to add to their line and develop the Motorbunny Buck, combining the best vibrating features of the original with customer-demanded thrusting ability. The Buck is a technologically advanced pleasure device with several patents pending the company developed to cross over into the thruster category.

Thompson expanded about the project. “We realized there are two worlds that have the same customer base. We looked at our customer profiles and they are the same people who spend $2,500 for a thrusting machine. We decided we could make a thruster and vibe and come up with a winner. Bam! It’s a premium experience out of the box. We did everything to make the Buck an incredible experience for the buyer. Bluetooth works right out of the box, the knobs are easy to use, can be used with internet control, there’s preset patterns and it also offers a right angle wedge.

So about that wedge and the amazing Buck. I tried it. I rode it. Here goes:

Basically, it’s everything you need for an incredible, penetrable ride of your life. Being a G-spot girl myself, let me take it from the top.

The unboxing ceremony was astonishing. Everything is carefully packaged and the unit even includes a universal adapter since Motorbunny’s customer base is often from several countries. See what I mean about customer service?

There are 10 components in the box, including two, slightly differently shaped toggles that are the secret sauce in making the Buck extra special. The silicone covers for the mechanism and for thrusting have a smooth, high-quality feel and offer just enough firmness and flexibility for a fun bucking.

I started out, as the fine folks at Motorbunny suggested I do, with the low, flat attachment that provided steady external stimulation and got me in the groove to learn how to grind into the saddle. Sure, I do that all the time when I’m getting it on but this time, humping the Motorbunny Buck was a different experience.

And what an experience it was! Using the straight toggle, I screwed it into the base so it pointed directly up. I slipped on the thumper attachment, which has the ribs on the shaft that I know and love, and it was just long enough without being too wide. After drizzling on a bit of water-based lube, I positioned myself on the Buck “top, dead center” and twisted the control knobs for both vibration and up and down thrusting. Whew! What a ride!

Wanting to hop on the Motorbunny even more, I removed the thumper, unscrewed the thrust toggle, and screwed in the G-thrust toggle, which allows the Buck to buck at that G-spot angle so many women love. It’s actually an up and forward thrust. I put on the “sweet spot” attachment that has the “come here” finger bend in it and also has a wider base to allow for a different, thrusting experience.

And yes, it was different! The impressive thing about using this attachment and toggle was that it is at the perfect angle for hitting the G-spot. Think erect penis and the angle for Mr. Happy and you get the idea. And imagine straddling the never-ending thrust and vibration Buck can provide. Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about!

Truth be told, aside from a good ol’ straddle session (which is easily done on the Buck), I also like it doggie style and that’s what the included right angle wedge provides. It lifts one end of the Buck to give a butt-in-the-air ride and even allows the unit to sit firmly on its end to give a real poking from behind. Now that position really got me going as I kept increasing the speed and intensity of the vibrations.

When I was done with my ride, I was done! It was an explosive experience and I lost count of how many times I orgasmed on it.

Being the technology-driven company that they are, the Buck just gets better! The gizmo can be controlled remotely, either from across the room or across the world via the Motorbunny LINK app. Imagine the satisfaction a rider can get with the surprise of different thrusts and vibrations from a lover, far, far away.

Those Motorbunny guys will be smiling as much as I did after hopping on and getting the Bucking of my life. Thanks for making such an awesome product. Keep up the great work!

And for extra fun when you can’t actually ride your Motorbunny Buck, download the FappyBunny app developed by Motorbunny, which will keep you entertained and thinking about having more fun on the actual saddle itself.

4 Sex Toy Shows: ANME, XBIZ, SHE and AVN

For those of us in the adult toy industry, January kicks off the year as the crazy month, at least for those of us behind the counter. I’m dizzy with the FOUR shows within two weeks starting on Monday, that let me learn, share, buy, grow and my favorite, schmooze. ANME, XBIZ, SHE and AEE/AVN. Hold on to your seats and join me for this whirlwind schedule.
ANME, the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo, is the beginning of the series of shows on January 12 and 13. While January is considered the slower show of the two shows, the other being held in July), everyone always poses the question: “What’s new?” Ah yes, what’s new. I am sure I’ll be seeing plenty of new styles of pink rabbits, more BDSM related products because of the impending release of the hotly anticipated movie “Fifty Shades of Grey.” The printed version caused a frenzy in our industry two years ago and many of us are hoping that when people actually SEE the dominant and submissive action between the two characters, that they’re gonna run right out and buy lots and lots of equipment from us. Sportsheets is anticipating a newly minted audience rushing out to discreetly buy kits and have prepped themselves with their cleverly titled Sexperiments line, which is so new, we don’t even have them yet on the GrandOpening.com website! But check it soon! I’m sure there will be plenty more at the show and I can’t wait to see everything.
Right after ANME is the XBIZ360 show from January 13-16. It’s a really good, trade only networking and learning event that’s really good. It’s not so much booth oriented but allows plenty of time for schmoozing (my favorite!) and the learning is excellent. Even I learn a lot when I’m there (especially when I poke my head into the adult film and web masters parts of it).  It offers all the cousins in the smut family: adult film industry, the adult toy industry, the adult web industry, or in any aspect of the adult pleasure industry so it’s always fun to get together during this perverted kind of family gathering. My favorite!  XBIZ Industry Executive Awards with YOURS TRULY being nominated as Community Executive of the Year! Can’t wait for that and wish me luck! I’ve been in the biz for 22 years now and in LOTS of communities in this wacky industry I love so much. Stay tuned! I’ll let you know when I win!
And the XBIZ Awards on January 15 are gonna be so hot, it’s gonna scorch the Nokia Theatre in downtown LA! It’s gonna be great. My favorite new gizmo, Bubble Love, is nominated in a few categories so I’ll keep my fingers crossed we win!
The XBIZ 360 event runs into the SHE show which is the Sexual Health Expo, put on by XBIZ at the Sofitel Hotel in Beverly Hills on the weekend of January 17-18. It IS a consumer show and I’m sure there will be many hungry and savvy sex curious attendees wanting to attend every workshop offered. And yes, there are awards to be given out over the weekend for the top female sexual health products on the market today. Another award show, another dress, no problem!
Then it’s home for two days to catch my breath and do laundry and other shit around the house (do I buy groceries?!?) before I drive out to Vegas for the granddaddy of ’em all, the AVN show, aka the big ass porno convention that has been in existence for over 30 years. I’ve been going to it since about 1997 and it’s hard to believe it’s been that long. It’s pretty whack and it’s at the Hard Rock from January 21-24. It’s a crazy time keeping up with all the action there which covers the gamut but in a very different way from all the other shows, mixed with industry folks and a shitload of fans, which I love and drive me crazy at the same time.
And yes, there’s not one but TWO award shows during the event: the O Awards for the adult novelty products and the AVN Awards for all of the other parts of the industry (including – ADULT NOVELTIES!!). That’s two more dresses I need to get!
On Sunday, January 25, I am happy to announce that I’ll be recovering, from what, I don’t know. I’ll be driving back and will leave early enough to avid the stampede down the 15 back home to LA. Two weeks of shows that are back to back and front to front will keep me at a crazy pace and force me to drink far too many 5 Hour Energy Shots (my favorite ones being orange and grape).  I’ll have a lot to write about so as they say in Hollywood (or at least they USED to), “Stay tuned!”
Okay, I’m going to start a tradition which is one of my favorites. As you may know, I have been blogging on XBIZ for years (here’s the link) and I always write a Joke Of The Blog at the end of it, so why not here?
So here’s the first one… there will be a lot more…
Speaking of Vegas, one night a couple had angry sex. You know, the kind you get through because you want to spite your partner, and you get through it but when you’re finished, you know you’re done. After the woman had sex with her husband, she angrily pulled on her clothes, started packing her suitcase and barked “That’s it. I’m done. I’m moving to Las Vegas where I can get $300 for what I just did with you.” Her husband looked up at her and said “Ya think you can survive on $900 a year?”

FOUR Sex Toy Shows this month: ANME, XBIZ, SHE and AEE!

For those of us in the adult toy industry, January kicks off the year as the crazy month, at least for those of us behind the counter. I’m dizzy with the FOUR shows within two weeks starting on Monday, that let me learn, share, buy, grow and my favorite, schmooze. ANME, XBIZ, SHE and AEE/AVN. Hold on to your seats and join me for this whirlwind schedule.
ANME, the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo, is the beginning of the series of shows on January 12 and 13. While January is considered the slower show of the two shows, the other being held in July), everyone always poses the question: “What’s new?”
Ah yes, what’s new. I am sure I’ll be seeing plenty of new styles of pink rabbits, more BDSM related products because of the impending release of the hotly anticipated movie “Fifty Shades of Grey.” The printed version caused a frenzy in our industry two years ago and many of us are hoping that when people actually SEE the dominant and submissive action between the two characters, that they’re gonna run right out and buy lots and lots of equipment from us. Sportsheets is anticipating a newly minted audience rushing out to discreetly buy kits and have prepped themselves with their cleverly titled Sexperiments line, which is so new, we don’t even have them yet on the GrandOpening.com website! But check it soon!
I’m sure there will be plenty more at the show and I can’t wait to see everything.
Right after ANME is the XBIZ360 show from January 13-16. It’s a really good, trade only networking and learning event that’s really good. It’s not so much booth oriented but allows plenty of time for schmoozing (my favorite!) and the learning is excellent. Even I learn a lot when I’m there (especially when I poke my head into the adult film and web masters parts of it).  It offers all the cousins in the smut family: adult film industry, the adult toy industry, the adult web industry, or in any aspect of the adult pleasure industry so it’s always fun to get together during this perverted kind of family gathering. My favorite!  XBIZ Industry Executive Awards with YOURS TRULY being nominated as Community Executive of the Year! Can’t wait for that and wish me luck! I’ve been in the biz for 22 years now and in LOTS of communities in this wacky industry I love so much. Stay tuned! I’ll let you know when I win!
And the XBIZ Awards on January 15 are gonna be so hot, it’s gonna scorch the Nokia Theatre in downtown LA! It’s gonna be great. My favorite new gizmo, Bubble Love, is nominated in a few categories so I’ll keep my fingers crossed we win!
The XBIZ 360 event runs into the SHE show which is the Sexual Health Expo, put on by XBIZ at the Sofitel Hotel in Beverly Hills on the weekend of January 17-18. It IS a consumer show and I’m sure there will be many hungry and savvy sex curious attendees wanting to attend every workshop offered. And yes, there are awards to be given out over the weekend for the top female sexual health products on the market today. Another award show, another dress, no problem!
Then it’s home for two days to catch my breath and do laundry and other shit around the house (do I buy groceries?!?) before I drive out to Vegas for the granddaddy of ’em all, the AVN show, aka the big ass porno convention that has been in existence for over 30 years. I’ve been going to it since about 1997 and it’s hard to believe it’s been that long. It’s pretty whack and it’s at the Hard Rock from January 21-24. It’s a crazy time keeping up with all the action there which covers the gamut but in a very different way from all the other shows, mixed with industry folks and a shitload of fans, which I love and drive me crazy at the same time. And yes, there’s not one but TWO award shows during the event: the O Awards for the adult novelty products and the AVN Awards for all of the other parts of the industry (including – ADULT NOVELTIES!!). That’s two more dresses I need to get!
On Sunday, January 25, I am happy to announce that I’ll be recovering, from what, I don’t know. I’ll be driving back and will leave early enough to avid the stampede down the 15 back home to LA. Two weeks of shows that are back to back and front to front will keep me at a crazy pace and force me to drink far too many 5 Hour Energy Shots (my favorite ones being orange and grape).  I’ll have a lot to write about so as they say in Hollywood (or at least they USED to), “Stay tuned!”
Okay, I’m going to start a tradition which is one of my favorites. As you may know, I have been blogging on XBIZ for years (here’s the link) and I always write a Joke Of The Blog at the end of it, so why not here? So here’s the first one… there will be a lot more…
Speaking of Vegas, one night a couple had angry sex. You know, the kind you get through because you want to spite your partner, and you get through it but when you’re finished, you know you’re done.
After the woman had sex with her husband, she angrily pulled on her clothes, started packing her suitcase and barked “That’s it. I’m done. I’m moving to Las Vegas where I can get $300 for what I just did with you.”
Her husband looked up at her and said “Ya think you can survive on $900 a year?”

Welcome 2015! My Sexy New Year's Resolutions

It’s that time of the year again, when we wipe the slate clean, throw out the old and ring in the new. New beginnings. New goals. New ideas. New, new, new. Yes, it’s the New Year and this year is gonna be different.
I resolve to keep learning as much as I can about shit I don’t know. I’ll tell ya, I always get a thrill when I learn something that I didn’t know when I take my head off the pillow in the morning. When I see someone doing something that I can’t figure out, like working on some hidden pipeline as I walk down the street, I ask them what they’re doing so I can learn even more about what’s under my feet. They are always sharing knowledge with me that goes into yet another fold of the grey matter between my ears.
Why? Because there’s too many things happening not to be! There’s an app to do just about everything, new places to discover, new restaurants to explore, new people to meet and new things to learn.
I resolve to be out there more. Yes, BE out there more. As in be in touch with more of you to spread the word about the wonderful world of sex. And motorcycles. Yep, motorcycles. More on that in another blog… And yeah, sex toys… I can’t love ‘em enough! I’ll review more, post more, post more videos and get more yummy tidbits out there, just for you. And please feel free to share…
But back to sex. It’s such an amazing thing, it really is, and has been such an integral part of my life for decades. I have experienced so much and only feel that I’m just beginning. Like 2015. And I’ll share those experiences with you and of course, change the names to protect the not too innocent!
So here’s to a fantastic 2015. I know I’ll be adding lots more here, having special events, discounts, tidbits and stuff posted. Just the way I like it – connecting with you and sharing true tales of sex, sextoys, lust, love, motorcycles, Grand Opening! and anything else that comes to mind. Please join me!
Lots of love,
Kim

4 Naughty Stocking Stuffers You Need

Need some last minute Christmas shopping ideas? Boy, do I have a treat for you. Here are four of my naughty favorites that will slip so perfectly into a stocking (as well as other places!): candy cane vibratorHere’s a traditional Candy Cane vibrator! Yes, it’s hard plastic and ready to slide up your chimney! Multi speed and waterproof for extra fun times under the tree!
glass candy cane dildoSpeaking of candy cane sex toys, how about a GLASS one? The Red Tasty Treat Glass Dildo by RubyGlass21 The perfect shape with a non-slip knob at the tip. This is one sweet toy! Yum!
christmas-thigh-highs

Get sexy AND stay warm with these fur trimmed, candy cane striped stockings! Imagine all of the goodies you can fit when you hang  REAL stockings from the mantel!

x-mas-tuggie

No Christmas is complete without the Christmas Tuggie to keep his willy warm! In delightful candy cane colors, it’s the perfect compliment to the candy cane stockings!

And don’t forget to use the code ARSENIO at checkout to get a 10% discount on orders of $50 or more! You have until December 31 so use it quick!

Happy Holidays!

anme founders

They Put the Founders in ANME Founders Show

anme founders
I already posted my general ANME wrap up last week and recapped the expo day by day over at XBIZ. However, I wanted to include some details here about the show itself. People not familiar with the industry might not know who the “Founders” of the ANME Founders Show are. I’m going to take some time today to introduce you to them and talk about what unique products they offered up at ANME this year.

Who Are the ANME Founders?

Nasstoys continues its accession in the industry by producing high quality products made from only the best materials. The motors are quiet and they’ve expanded their inflatable line, too. As I mentioned on my other blog, the standout for me this year was an inflatable double dildo. It’s silicone, vibrates, and comes in a shape that’s sure to please.
Next up on the Founders list is California Exotics Novelties, or CalExotics, or CalEx. Whatever you want to call them, their booth was fantastic and divided up between their three main brands: Cal, Jopen, and Key. But my favorite this year is the vibrating Comet Wand from Key. Yum!
Pipedream Products was right next door, which featured several rebranded products under the Anal Fantasy Collection. A brand new collection made its debut as well: Pleasure Pottery. This line features ceramic vibes, dildos, and butt plugs. Clever!
Doc Johnson was next. They expanded their Made in America branding this year with brand new shapes sure to please the tried and true sex toy lover. The real standout from them was the “Black and Blue” fetish line with James Deen on the packaging. I really appreciated this. Vibrators don’t always come in packages with busty ladies on them anymore!
Last, but not least, was Topco. Their emphasis this year was on sex dolls as big as you and me and body part toys.
There you have it! I just wanted to take a moment give you a taste of what the Founders had to offer this year. I really enjoyed myself last week. Now to get back to playing with all the sexy goodies I picked up at the show…
 

ANME 2013 Wrap Up

What a weekend! If you follow me on Twitter @KimAirs, you saw what I was up to this weekend at ANME or The Founders Show. That’s Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo for the uninitiated. But if you missed my tweets, I’ve collected the photos and details here for you in one convenient spot. I know you guys like convenience. Plus, now you have a way to learn about all the fantastic products I encountered (and tested!) as I strolled from booth to booth–or should I say from tent to booth?

ANME Day 1: The Exhibitor Tent

Make your own dick! Or pussy! There were Clone-A-Willy Kits aplenty on display.

Clone A Willy Kit at ANME

There were a lot of new lubricant companies there, too. Off the top of my head, SLYD and Tiger Lube stood out from the newer picks and Uberlube always impresses with their clear glass bottles.
One of my favorites, the Magic Wand was there. No longer sporting the Hitachi name, this Vibratex staple is still the best. And thanks to a creative relaunch, this vibrator is set to be even better with updated tech and sleek new packaging.

Vibratex Magic Wand at ANME

One of the highlights of the day was the Crave booth. I got to build my very own vibrator! How cool is that? The Crave is super easy to use. It features two prongs, each with their own vibrators in the tips. It’s powerful and small. However, getting to build it was the standout attraction. I got to pick out a silicone sleeve, motor, control panel, and USB charger. Then I put all the parts together–following step-by-step instructions–and applied silicone glue. Once the glue dried, I was able to test the electrical components. After 10 minutes, I walked away with my very-own-vibe, built by yours truly!

Crave Build a Vibe at ANME

Zolo Masturbators stood out, too. With clever advertising, Pocket Pool has never been so fun.

ZOLO Pocket Pool Masturbators at ANME

Plus, I designed this display for Nasstoys. Nice eh?? You can clearly see some of the products I’ve reviewed here, too, like the Strapless Strap-on.

Nasstoys booth display at ANME

Masque Sexual Flavors were there, too, and you all know how I feel about those yummy little strips.
Read more about day 1 at ANME over on my XBIZ blog…

ANME Day 2

The second day of the Expo brought even more booths with high quality products for me to lay my little hands on. Yippee! Look at how stylish these new offerings from JOPEN are? I can’t wait to give ’em a try!

JOPEN and Cal Exotics display at ANME

And could this get any more fun? ScreamingO came out with a vibrating mustache called the MustachiO! Words can’t even express how much I LOVE IT!

ScreamingO MustachiO vibrator at ANME

OhMiBod has the right idea. The Lovelife Flex are kegel weights coming soon to a sex toy store near you. They look so delicate and feminine, but are sure to pack a punch.

OhMiBod Flex kegel weights at ANME

 ANME Day 3

By the time the last day of ANME rolled around, I was exhausted, but there were still more things to see! I persevered just for you all. I know, I know: I’m so selfless in my pursuit of the best sex toys.
Here I am product testing in the XR LLC booth. I’m using that fucking machine the best way I know how!

XR LLC fucking machine at ANME

I also stumbled upon the NS Novelties booth. They had some silicone restraints on display and they are super soft, comfortable, and fun. What a brilliant idea!

NS Novelties restraints at ANME

I might post some more in depth info later about specific booths and exhibits. But for now, know this: my trip to ANME 2013 was a huge success. Great products, tons of schmoozing, and lots of fun. I can’t wait till next year!

Phthalates in Sex Toys: A Thing of the Past?

Actually, since I know the industry so well, almost all of the major manufacturers have eliminated phthalates in their products and are making them out of TPE (thermo plastic elastomer) or TPR (thermo plastic rubber) both of which contain NO phthalates yet still look and feel like the typical jelly rubber toys.

phthalates in sex toys

Phthalates in sex toys are bad news!


The EU has outlawed phthalates in products so in order to export sex toys to Europe, the major companies have eliminated using the rubber softeners phthalates in their toys. At GrandOpening.com, there is a HUGE variety of sex toys and they will each state if they are phthalate free, which the majority are.
When buying a sex toy, the best way to determine if there are phthalates in the toy is to try to detect an odor on the toy while in its packaging. If it was made with phthalates, the toy will give off a slightly unpleasant scent. If the toy does not have phthalates, it will be odor free. Also, many of the common jelly rubber toys ARE, in fact, phthalate free. But what’s the best way to check? Scent, of course.

What’s the Problem with Phthalates?

 
There hasn’t been a ton of research done on the subject, but what we do know is this: they are a type of chemical group that is used to soften plastics; they are used in a wide variety of products; and they can rub off onto the skin when you use a product containing them. Yuck! Plus, one study has connected these chemicals to thyroid issues.
So what can you do? Look for phthalate-free products or purchase a silicone sex toy to eliminate the concern entirely. More and more major manufacturers are switching over to safer materials but that doesn’t mean you can let your guard down. Pay attention to what you’re putting on (and in!) your body!

Dong should be replaced by dildo in sex toy descriptions.

Dong & Flesh: Why Sex Toy Descriptions Have It Wrong

Two Words in the Sex Toy Biz I Could Do Without

You know, I’ve been in this industry over 20 years having owned Grand Opening! and before that, starting out as a sex toy aficionado ever since I was old enough to walk into a porn store. In those decades, I’ve seen so many changes and have been excited by all of them. The relatively recent evolution of sex toys is pretty amazing: remote controlled vibes; round, marble shaped vibes that once cost $250 to buy are now slung around as keychains; tiny, pinky-sized vibrators that pack a punch; sizes, shapes and colors that were once unfathomable, and so many more. I love ‘em all.

Dong should be replaced by dildo in sex toy descriptions.

A dong, yes, but not a dong.


But there’s two words that are still hanging around in the sex toy nomenclature that are throwbacks to the bad ol’ good ol’ days of those sticky-floored, cigar smoking sales clerks selling singularly colored toys that could only do one thing.
Here they are:  DONG and FLESH.

On Dong and Why It’s Wrong

Ask any harness-strappin’ lesbian what she calls her toy and it ain’t “DONG.” It’s called a dildo which is a term that has been around for a long time. In fact, the term “dildo” has been around for centuries and I’m good with that.
But that word “dong” is the one that really gets me going. According to Wikipedia, the word “dong” falls into three categories: “Asian languages,” “People,” and “Other Meanings” including, wait for it… the easternmost village in India; a pornographic actor; feces or excrement; a language game where words are spelled out and consonants have the syllable -ong added on the end; a creature in the nonsense poem of Edward Lear: “The Dong with a Luminous Nose;’” a home run in baseball; a hot dog or German sausage; Dong Open Air (which is a heavy metal festival in Germany named after the Dong hill); and to top it all off, Dong is also a neighborhood division in Korea. If Psy recorded “Dong Style” instead of “Gangham Style” which also references a section in Korea, who knows what the adult industry would have done with that!
So thinking about the somewhat interchangeable terms “dildo” and “dong,” when I go for the gusto and want to fill my inner thighs, I don’t reach for a “dong,” I reach for a dildo. When a partner wants me to stick one into their willing body, they don’t breathe heavy and say “Fuck me with that DONG.” They gasp, “Shove that dildo in harder!” (or actually, they just scream “fuck me harder” and since my gender technically restricts me to only using my fingers and tongue, I ALWAYS reach for a dildo to pack it in their moist channels of desire).
So isn’t it time we retire the term “dong” from our adult industry sex toy terms, packaging, and signage? I mean, if you were to hold one up and show it to someone and ask what they’d call it, I’d bet my hard earned cash that they would say “George,” whoops! I mean, they’d call it a “dildo,” NOT a dong. If you were to ask your grandfather or even GREAT grandfather, they’d probably respond “I’d call that me in my younger years…” or they MIGHT call it a “dong.”
For internet shits and giggles, try looking up the word dildo in Google images and you’ll see the reflection of many products we’re all familiar with. Look up the word dong in Google images and you’ll come up with the visages of hundreds of Asian men and soon realize that the word “dong” is no longer used to describe a sex toy. Unless of course, the aforementioned Mr. Dong HAS a dong or IS a dong…
Besides which, if you get a nick in your toy would that make it a “ding dong”?
DONG – let’s get that word outta here.

Flesh-colored. I mean, really?

Okay, so the other term is what Crayola Crayons discontinued way back in, WHAT?! NINETEEN SIXTY TWO?!? In response to the Civil Rights Movement, the folks at Crayola cleverly changed the crayon color called “Flesh” to “Peach” to reflect the many range of tones of the human skin. So why is the adult industry taking more than 50 years to change our color designation? I mean, we have toys in many skin tones available yet still refer to that common tan color as “Flesh.”
To my knowledge, no manufacturers have been picketed by NAACP (which STILL stands for National Association for the Advancement of COLORED PEOPLE so I guess we can get a pass on that one) or any other civil rights organizations that I can think of, to change the descriptive color of “black” to “African American” so there’s really nothing to fear in that department. The reason why these civil rights organizations don’t picket might be because the adult products industry isn’t that important. But think how many of these DONGS, I mean, DILDOS we sell every day, month, and year. My guess is that it surpasses the number of men, women, and children in the US at any given moment but that’s another blog.
Changing the color designation of adult toys would be simple to do: simply call them “tan.” We call others brown and black and there are still companies that refer to creamy coffee colored toys as “Mulatto” which I’m not sure is considered a somewhat derogatory term at this point or not. I’ll have to try the word on someone and see what their reaction is and my guess is that they probably won’t know what the hell I’m talking about. I think the more accepted terms these days is “bi-racial” – hey, anytime “bi” is referenced in ANYTHING always scores in my book.
And I’m not bringing these two terms up to tentpole my PC muscle, I mean, my Political Correctness flag, but to let our beloved (and major) manufacturers know it’s about time to update the descriptions of our most popular sex toys. On the eve of our biggest trade show of the year, ANME, maybe it’s time to announce those subtle yet remarkable changes. I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one to notice and to celebrate. Hell, I’ll even go out and buy a new, tan colored dildo to use on my politically correct and always happy snatch. I can hardly wait.
And now for your regularly scheduled JOTB:
Once, two guys went to a diner for lunch. The waitress took their order. The first guy says “I’ll take a hamburger.” The second guy says “I’ll have a hot dog.”
Moments later, the waitress walks by with her hands under her armpits. Curious, the guys ask why she’s doing that. “I’m doing this to defrost the hamburger,” she replies.
The second guy looks at her and says “Cancel my hot dog order.”
Okay! On to my next blog!  See ya soon!
This article originally appeared on XBIZ.